Not even sure what Month it is anymore….

Welp, 9 months really threw us for a loop.

Cue growth spurt, minor sickness, AND TEETH all at the same time.


I knew a growth spurt happened around 9 months so I was expecting it, but hoping it would pass with grace. Overall it wasn’t terrible. Briar definitely increased her breast milk intake temporarily in the form of night waking. Again, it most definitely was not terrible. I would feed her and she would go back to sleep. It was a trend for about a week or two. We’ve also almost completely transitioned her off of purees and onto actually people food, just cut up super small. I totally love this because she basically eats what we eat and it’s much less meal prep for me. I still buy fresh food, but I don’t have to do anything special with it.

Both girls have actually been really congested and snotty for a couple of weeks actually. It’s just unfortunately that time of year in the Ohio Valley. When the weather changes from hot to cold the sinus colds are pretty much inevitable.

And believe it or not, Briar is sprouting her two bottom teeth. I was absolutely amazed. If you are an avid reader…which I hope you are…Raelynn did not get her first tooth until she was 15 months old and it was her top tooth and I was done nursing at this point. I was actually hoping Briar would be the same so my nipples could be spared being bitten off. I’ve never nursed a baby with teeth so this should be an interesting journey. I know mom’s do it all the time, but I just never have.

And…in case you are wondering…today is November 15th which means we have already went to VEGAS!!!! and the most exciting thing is…AS OF THE DAY I LEFT, I HAD ENOUGH OF MY GLORIOUS DAIRY FREE MILK TO FEED BRIAR THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS GONE. I felt such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that was out of the way. Now I really felt like I could go enjoy Vegas. And I did. We did. We lived Vegas up for the week we were there. We went out to clubs, we played Top Golf, we walked the strip, we literally drank every minute of every day..or so it felt like…Scott and I totally needed it. We needed the time away from kids. We needed the time to rekindle our relationship. And we did. **wink wink**

However…as you can imagine, my supply took a huge hit. It was a combination of missing pumps, not pumping consistently at the same time every day, not staying hydrated, not eating enough. Today, I am actually away for business and for the entire day, I barely pumped 10 ounces. Briar is still taking 24 ounces per day and nursing once at night. So, this is not good. Luckily, I have some extra milk to make up for what I am currently lacking, but starting next week (when I get back from business travel; hard to be consistent right now), I am going to pick up the power pumps again to hopefully regain some of my supply. At this point, I do not care about freezing any. I just want to be able to make enough. As of next week we will be 10 months in. I did a hard stop with Raelynn at 12 months, but I can totally see myself going longer just for the simple fact of Briar’s dairy sensitivity. Going longer for me will take a lot of will and perseverance because I am straight up over it. BUT, for a long time, the main thing for me was making enough milk for Vegas, and now I don’t have to worry about that so it’s a lot less stressful. And to know that end is somewhat in site takes some of the stress away too.

Speaking of traveling, I have been doing a lot more than I usually do. Two weeks before Vegas I went to California for 4 days, then Vegas for 6 days, and now I’m away for 3 days in North Carolina and South Carolina for work. And let me tell you…dragging around this big ass hospital grade pump is a pain in my fucking neck. For real. For personal travel, I have my purse, my pump, and my cooler to keep milk cold in. For business travel, it’s all of the previous listed plus my laptop. And I basically refuse to put any of it in the overhead bin. I could not imagine if my milk spilled or if my pump (not really my pump) somehow got broken. So, I’ve been doing A LOT of pumping and not a lot of nursing. I am currently on my last trip, at least I hope, until next March and I hope I’m done by then. If not, then someone better slap the shit out of me. Because I do not want to lug this pump and cooler around for another trip.

That’s about everything exciting that has happened over the last couple of weeks.

A couple of pictures over the last month:



Until next time…


–The Kentucky Momma


Month 8 and almost 9….

I can’t believe I have an almost 9 month old. 12 more days and she will be 9 months. Time is literally flying by. I love it and I hate it.

I love it because, at this point, I’m sure everyone is aware how much I love breastfeeding <–that is sarcasm in case you missed it….

I hate it because, well, she’s almost 9 months old. Which means she’s not a baby anymore. And I don’t miss the baby stage, I just really miss her being little.

So, breastfeeding. OMG how I fucking loathe it this time around. I hate that I hate it. I know I’m like a broken record, but I am so ready for it to be over. Pumping update…I am still not having to pump at 8:30pm anymore, so thank the lord for that. I still have to pump 5 times a day…waking up a 5:00 a.m. (so ready for that to end)…to get what she needs for the day. I even thought to myself, well, we are 8 months in, SURELY, my supply is established enough to drop a pump at work. N O P E. Tried it for 3 days and I lost 3 ounces each day. So, then I had to power pump and all the bullshit just to get my supply back up.

I am very slowly storing milk. I have approximately 24 days, 22 hours, 17 minutes, and 15 seconds…but who’s counting…until V E G A S ! ! ! ! ! ! This continues to be my biggest nightmare, storing enough milk for her. I should probably be very diligent and try to count every single day, but I’m scared to find out how much milk I do not have saved for her. At last count, I had approximately 160 ounces. I realistically need around 7 days of milk…times 30 ounces…210 ounces of milk…so I still need to freeze around 50 ounces of milk in 24 days, 22 hours, 9 minutes, and 54 seconds….but who’s counting….

In more positive news, Briar is doing wonderful. She is a typical almost 9 month old, cruising around EVERYWHERE. Everything is “DA DA DA DA”, sometimes I get a “MA MA MA MA MA” out of her. She is the most smiley baby ever. I mean, literally smiles all the time. As soon as she wake up and we get her out of the crib, she smiles. She has the biggest, most infectious smile. I love it.

Briar is still napping pretty well too. She is lingering between 1 and 2 naps a day. At daycare she only takes 1 nap a day, but it’s pretty long. At home, she sometimes takes 1 and sometimes she takes 2, it just depends.

Raelynn is great as well. Her personality is SO big. Sometimes to the point that I if we are doing something wrong. She is me made over. All the way down to the attitude and controlling. She is getting into a lot of trouble at daycare every single day. Every day when I pick her up, I have to ask, “Raelynn, were you a good girl today?” Then she side eye’s the daycare provider to see if she can convince her to say she was a good girl. I would be 3, sometimes 4 out of the 5 days she goes there, I get a bad report. This week, it has involved hitting someone and tearing pages out of a book. I just wonder if I should be doing something more. Something different? Am I too harsh on her?

OMG Raelynn is in the stage of asking a million questions too…I swear I think she could ask about 5 questions in 30 seconds.

Raelynn – “Why? How come? Why not? How come? How Come?”

Me – “Because I said so.”

Raelynn – “But how come, Mommy?”

Raelynn is still playing soccer. And she really loves it. This past week, she scored 4 goals and she was so proud of herself. It made me beam with pride. Just to see your child so happy about something, it’s truly heartwarming. It’s still pretty overwhelming during the week, but it’s almost over. And I’m ready for it to be over. I enjoy that she enjoys it, but we are just still so busy….and continuing to get busier.

I don’t ever know when my life will slow down and I hate it. I sometimes feel like life is passing me by and I’m not even living it. I’m just on autopilot.

Hoping for something more insightful next time…


–The Kentucky Momma

Month 6 and 7

Well, month 6 just crept on by like no big deal and we already in month 7 with Briar.

So so so so so much has changed from Month 5 to Month 7.

Developmentally, all in about one week, Briar was able to situp, CRAWL, AND sit herself up from a crawling position. It’s so incredibly crazy how quick it all happened. She actually crawled first, then situp, and then put the two together. She has been very recently starting to pull herself up on things that she can reach. We had to lower her bed. And I am not exaggerating when I say that it all happened in a week. None of this happened with Raelynn until she was around 9 months old. Briar is essentially mobile. She can crawl all over the house. I love it. She can also entertain herself for a couple of minutes. It may not seem like a lot, but we have an area in the house dedicated to her and her toys in the living room. We can sit her there for a little bit and she will just play. Raelynn never did that and STILL does not do that. A couple of minutes may not seem like a lot, but it could be the difference in getting a couple sips of hot coffee in the morning!

Overall breastfeeding and pumping are going much better. It’s just a lot of freaking work this time and I am truly ready for it to end. I’m ready for it to end all for selfish reasons. I just want my body back. I want to feel like I do more than just pump all day long. I want to be able to sleep in. I currently live by the clock. Every three hours, I have to make sure I am either with Briar or with the pump. I hate it. Obviously, I would much rather be with Briar because it makes things 100% easier. But, as all of us working moms are aware, that is just not possible.

If you recall from my last post, this was my pumping schedule:

5:00 a.m.- wake and pump

8:00 a.m. – pump

10:30 a.m. – pump

1:30 p.m. – pump

4:00 p.m. – pump

7:00 p.m. – nurse

8:30 p.m. – pump

I am still following this for the most part, except for the past two weeks I have accidentally/on purpose got rid of my 8:30pm pump. It started a week prior to Raelynn’s party. It was crazy at work (to be discussed later or in a later post), I was trying to finish last minute things for Raelynn’s party. I just couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t stay up later because that would mean less sleep. So, I didn’t do it. And then I didn’t do it for another week. And now I’m almost 3 weeks in without having the 8:30 p.m. pump. Why is this significant? Because on my July 28th post, I wrote this:

6 pumps to make 24 ounces. It took a lot of freaking work. I am scared to even say this because I’m sure the pumping gods are looking down on me just waiting to give me another set-back, but I am actually a little ahead. I haven’t counted, because I’m scared. I’m scared to get excited, and I’m scared to set an expectation for myself, but as of right now, I may or may not have 3 full bottles of milk in the fridge that are 100% extra. So, for the moment…I am going to just let it stay cold in the fridge and I’m not going to count it. I’m scared to freeze it because then it’s like, “Oh hey, you have extra milk, GREAT. Now, cue the 24 ounces of spilled milk again since you have extra”. I’m just WAITING for that moment.

Since then…are you ready for this…I have been able to FREEZE 120 OUNCES OF MILK. LIKE I AM NOT KIDDING, Y’ALL. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY BEAUTIFUL DAIRY FREE OUNCES OF MILK. I can’t even believe it. I really, really can’t believe it. When I finally counted it over the week, I about fell over on the floor. As of right now, that’s 4 full days of extra milk for Briar. And just in case you have been keeping up with my blog…I will be going to Vegas in November and I will technically be away for 7 days….so I only need 3 more full days of milk. I have been stressing so so so bad about this. To be “over the hump” with milk production for when I’m away is a huge relief. I’m still holding my breathe a little bit. But I do feel a sense of relief.

In other Briar news, sleep is much, much improved. She is consistently sleeping through the night now. We put her down at 7:00 p.m. and she wakes up normally around 6:30 a.m. I will take it. She still sometimes wakes in the middle of the night, but those days are few and far between. Thank goodness!!

She is (we are), however, relying a lot on the pacifier. She FINALLY knows how to keep the damn thing in her mouth and she can now replace it in her mouth if it falls out. Since she has figured out how to do this, she has become a lot more dependent upon it. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. It’s helping her sleep through the night so I can’t complain about that, but it’s also the only thing that will get her to go to sleep for the night and for naps. I’m pretty conflicted on what to do. I truly am ready to get rid of it because the longer she has it, the harder it will be to take it away, but…why ruin a good thing? We really have a good thing going now so why in the world do I want to mess it up?

Naps are really good now. She has been napping in her crib for a little over a month. We are somewhat in a transition between 2 and 3 naps. Sometimes she take two 2 hour naps and she doesn’t need a third nap, but if she cuts one of those naps short, we incorporate a third nap.

Since she has been taking better naps and sleeping through the night, we have decided against sleep training for now.

My sweet Briar is growing so fast.


Until Next Time…


–The Kentucky Momma

Pumping…Success??? WHAT??

I may or may not be having some pumping success now…a whole 2 weeks later…

I FINALLY took the plunge and started waking up at 5 a.m. during the week to add in an extra pump. Now, this is what my day looks like:

5:00 a.m.- wake and pump

8:00 a.m. – pump

10:30 a.m. – pump

1:30 p.m. – pump

4:00 p.m. – pump

7:00 p.m. – nurse

8:30 p.m. – pump

6 pumps to make 24 ounces. It took a lot of freaking work. I am scared to even say this because I’m sure the pumping gods are looking down on me just waiting to give me another set-back, but I am actually a little ahead. I haven’t counted, because I’m scared. I’m scared to get excited, and I’m scared to set an expectation for myself, but as of right now, I may or may not have 3 full bottles of milk in the fridge that are 100% extra. So, for the moment…I am going to just let it stay cold in the fridge and I’m not going to count it. I’m scared to freeze it because then it’s like, “Oh hey, you have extra milk, GREAT. Now, cue the 24 ounces of spilled milk again since you have extra”. I’m just WAITING for that moment.

On the weekends, I do not wake up early. I sleep in a little and wait for Briar to get up between 6:30a.m. and 7:00a.m.. After she eats, then I pump. I yield anywhere from 4-6 ounces. That milk is pure extra milk. I nurse on demand on Saturday and Sunday; ranges anywhere from 2-4 hours between feedings. And then I pump again at 8:30 p.m. Again, the pump at 8:30 p.m. is solely extra milk. So, I have been doing this schedule for about 2 weeks, hence where I think the extra milk is S L O W L Y starting to make it’s way into my refrigerator and hopefully freezer…soon 🙂

So, what do I think the biggest factor was that helped? POWER PUMPING. 10000%. For an entire week straight, I power pumped at almost all of my pumping sessions. It fucking sucked. It was not fun. I felt like I could not focus on anything else except pumping. BUT, I’m lucky enough to work in a small company that allows me to basically do whatever I need. I have my own office, so I’m able to shut the door, pump, and still continue to work. I know I am a small percentage of women that is actually able to do this, which is why I’m forever grateful.

THIS…… —-> Power Pumping Guide THIS is the best thing ever. I had only ever read about one way to power pump, but this guide is BEYOND helpful. It explains all of the different ways that you can power pump. It’s pretty amazing actually. For the most part I used the pump 20, rest 10, pump 10, rest 10, pump 10; but I also used pump 10, rest 10, pump 10; when I didn’t have an entire hour to dedicate. And it truly did work. After about a week of doing this, I went back to pumping between 20-30 minutes (it takes me a long time to completely empty), and my supply was up. I couldn’t believe it.

Along with the power pumping, I have still been taking the “Let There Be Milk” supplement and I truly think that helps to maintain my milk supply. I also found a pretty good smoothie recipe that isn’t terrible for you. AND, the main plus (from a healthy standpoint) you get WAY less sugar than you do if you make and consume the cookies. Also you get as much brewers yeast in the smoothie as you would by eating a dozen or so cookies :/. I mean, I know, I like eating cookies too, but my sometimes my waistline does not appreciate it. In the recipe below, I up the brewer’s yeast to 2 TBSP, and the oats to a 1/2 cup.


I also still eat oatmeal EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I can’t wait to not eat oatmeal anymore. I’ve also read some things about a drink called Body Armor. I have drank it a few times, but not consistently enough to see a change. I might have to test this one out.

I am still contemplating what to do for milk for our trip to Vegas. At this point, I am really unsure of how much milk I am going to have. As I’ve said a million times, I have about 100 ounces frozen, but with dairy. And it appears that I might slowly be able to start building somewhat of a dairy free freezer stash. I plan on reintroducing dairy into my diet soon to see how she takes it. If I was not going to Vegas, then I wouldn’t even care to reintroduce it to me, but at this point, I just want to be able to go to Vegas and have fun and not have to look up an allergen menu at every single restaurant that we go to. It could be a real game changer if she has outgrown her sensitivity. But, I’m not getting my hopes up. I have already decided that I’m not going to put her on formula for the one week that we are gone. In my opinion, that’s pointless and it would probably upset her stomach more than anything. The last option is getting milk from a milk bank. Then the issue becomes, you told me you were dairy free, but are you REALLY dairy free? It just makes me nervous. I’m also hoping she starts to take less as she gets older and starts to intake more solids. She will be 10 1/2 months when we leave. I basically have 3 months to build some type of stash. I know it’s doable. And I really want to be able to do it. Fingers Crossed!

I hate to even say this, but I will really be glad when I am done breastfeeding. It’s just a completely different experience this time around. Being dairy free, having to rent my pump and pay monthly, paying for supplements, pumping around the clock, always worrying if I have enough milk. It’s just really, really exhausting. Briar turned 6 months on July 22 and I told Scott to remind me every day that it’s all downhill from here. I just need that reminder that I’m on a downward slope so I will keep on pushing. It’s hard work, and it is 100% worth it, but I’m just ready to be done.

Until next time…


–The Kentucky Momma

Breastfeeding Fail(s)

Follow up on my previous breastfeeding/pumping post…

So, a couple of weeks ago, Briar’s daycare said she needed 5 ounces, and then a couple of days later, she tells me she think she needs 6 ounces. 6 WHOLE OUNCES….4 TIMES A DAY….24 OUNCES….Bruhhhh…

I knew she was right though. So I went from thinking I needed at least 20 ounces a day, to at least 24 ounces a day. In the breastfeeding world, that’s a big ass jump in ounces especially when I was barely making the 16 ounces she needed. I knew I just needed to bite the bullet and make it happen.

For about a month now, I’ve been using the hospital grade pump. I can definitely tell a difference. My let-down occurs much quicker. And I had read somewhere (multiple places) that whenever your milk stops coming out, you can push the let down button again. Seems like common sense, but I never did it before, and it definitely helps. I can normally get at least 2, if not 3 good let downs.

I received in the “Let There Be Milk” supplement, and again, I can tell a difference in my pumping output. It tastes absolutely awful. I read a lot of reviews about it on Amazon and some people put it directly in the back of their throat and take it straight. I cannot do this. I put it in a shot glass, and put some water in it and shoot it. It’s literally the only way I can take it. BUT, it helps, so I don’t care. I will deal with the nasty taste.

Another huge factor, when we upped her bottles, I knew she was getting enough milk during the day so I decided that if she did wake up in the middle of the night, I was not going to feed her anymore. Well, I decided I would see how it went if I didn’t feed her. It’s been about 2 weeks and I am successfully not feeding her during the night anymore. She still wakes up from time to time, but she is not eating, so that makes my morning pump even bigger.

So, I went from barely being able to make 16 ounces to now barely keeping up with 24 ounces. I am making 24 ounces a day, but B A R E L Y.

But, yet another setback occurred….Every morning I send 1 bottle and a container full of milk for Briar. I put it in the diaper bag. When I was dropping them off one day last week, the bag was leaking….



I didn’t realize this until I got to daycare. I just started crying. It’s the most terrible feeling when I am barely making what she needs and then I lost it all. All I have in my freezer that did not have dairy in it was 24 ounces. So, I had to go back home and get it and deplete my only freezer stash. What a terrible day.

Now, I literally have zero good freezer stash for her. So, if I’m ever short on making the milk she needs, I’m screwed.

THEN…this past weekend, I had an extremely sore throat, like it hurt to swallow. And I never have a sore throat so I immediately went for some cough drops. I basically had to keep one in my mouth for 12+ hours. Even in the middle of the night.

Woke up….pumped half of what I normally pump…Why, you ask…because menthol (active ingredient in cough drops) can cause a dip in milk supply.

I seriously give up. Everything I do, I am getting a set back.

I know I should just be focusing on the day to day, BUT, we are going on vacation in November, WITHOUT the kids. We are going to VEGASSSSS 🙂 I should be so excited, but I’m not. Because, all I worry about is how is my child going to be fed while I’m away? As of right now, she will starve, so that’s great. I have NOTHING extra to give her right now. So between now and November, I have to somehow freeze 200 ounces. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? That’s roughly 11 ounces a week that I need to freeze. And with no freezing in sight, that number will likely climb each week that I don’t freeze something. So it’s not looking very promising for me.


Lord help me. I am literally counting down the months until I can be done breastfeeding. It’s been much more stressful than enjoyable this time around.

Until next time…


–The Kentucky Momma

Breastfeeding/Pumping with Briar

I never thought things would be so different. Like literally night and day different. I have been wracking my brain and going back through my old posts and I’m kicking myself in the ass for not being more detailed with Raelynn.

I am currently on a big time struggle bus with Briar and breastfeeding. Well, pumping, not really breastfeeding. It really, really sucks.


Big differences so far:

  • I had an extremely hard time with Raelynn in the beginning. Bad latch, bloody nipples, long nursing times because she wasn’t extracting enough. With Briar, it was the complete opposite. I had about 2 – 3 weeks of sore nips, some bleeding, some toe curling in the beginning and then after that, it was pretty easy. But, pumping output is a completely different story.
  • I never, ever had to worry about having enough milk with Raelynn. At this time with her, I had about 600 extra ounces of milk in my deep freeze. Now, with Briar; I have about 140 ounces of milk frozen and at least 100-120 of those ounces contain dairy so I cannot give them to her just yet.
  • Raelynn’s bottle size was small, I think, maybe about 3.5 ounces for a very long time. Briar’s has been 4 ounces for a long time and now her daycare thinks she needs 5, and I think the daycare is right. I am BARELY, and when I say BARELY, I mean by the skin of my teeth making enough for Briar right now. And I’m not freezing any extra. Which is a whole other issue. Plain and simple, I did not have to work this hard with Raelynn.

A typical day for us:

Lately…***knock on wood*** Briar has been waking up around 5am for her first feed. I feed her and put her back down. Sometimes she goes back to sleep, sometimes she doesn’t Regardless, she still gets one full feed in the middle of the night. And it’s anywhere from 3am – 5am. Her last feed for the day is at 7pm, and when she eats in the middle of the night, she really eats, a lot. She’s not just soothing herself back to sleep.

So, Nurse at 5ish am

4oz bottle at 7:00am (at daycare)

I pump at 7:30am when I get to work

4oz bottle at 10:00am

I pump at 10:30am

4oz bottle at 1:00pm

I pump at 1:30pm

4oz bottle at 4:00pm

I pump at 4:00pm

Nurse at 7:00pm and then bedtime.

So as of right now, I am pumping 4 times a day while at work and replacing all of her feeds with a pump and she is getting 16 ounces of milk while we are apart. If you take the general rule of thumb, 1 – 1.5 ounces of milk for every hour apart; we are apart for 10 hours, she is actually beyond the higher end of ounces. But she is only nursing 2 other times at home while we are together. Average milk intake ranges anywhere from 24oz – 32oz and I know she is meeting that quota. Especially with still having the middle of the night nursing. I’m sure she gets several ounces then.

I don’t nurse her in the mornings for two reasons: I have to get to work as early as possible and I NEED that morning pump. It’s the only time of the day that I make more than 4 ounces. So I count on that to make up for what I lack at other pumps throughout the day. And trust me, I lack, big time.

So, with all that said, I need to increase my pumping output. This is what I’ve done so far:

  • When I was barely and sometimes not even meeting the 16 ounce daily requirement, I started getting out of my frozen stash temporarily. To replace that, I also added in another pump at 8:30pm. I knew that if I continued to supplement with my frozen stash, I was telling my body that it was okay not to make that milk, therefore, I added in the 8:30pm pump. It has helped me and I think I only had to take from my stash for about 2 weeks before my supply increased permanently. As soon as I am done pumping, I go to sleep.
  • I have actually started power pumping at my 8:30pm pump. Powering pumping is pump 20 minutes, stop for 10 minutes, pump for 10 minutes, stop for 10 minutes, pump for 10 minutes. So that puts me to bed around 9:30pm.  I cannot muster up another night pump. Plus, my supply, as everyone’s, is low at night, so what’s the point.
  • About a month ago, I also rented a Medela Symphony which is a hospital grade pump. All in all, I think I have noticed a difference.
  • I also ordered some lactation cookies. Yes, I’m lazy. I realize I could make them on my own and I still might, but for the time being, I am desperate. I have all of the ingredients to make my own, but the ones I order are really really good. I overindulged and did not make them last as long as I could have :/ So, now I’m patiently waiting for my next order. I feel like the cookies did help as well. Whenever I ate them, I was definitely engorged when I woke up in the morning.
  • Besides coffee, water is all I drink. And I get at least 150 ounces a day.
  • I have been eating steel cut oats since Briar was born.
  • I drink Gatorade at times, but I probably need to incorporate it a little more.
  • I have been trying different size flanges as well. My sister in law gave me the pumpin pals and they are much more comfortable. Not sure yet if I am extracting any more milk.

These are the next steps I know I am going to have to take:

  • I know I’m going to have to add in a pump, somewhere. And I think it’s going to have to be in the morning. God only knows where, in the morning, I’m thinking after her middle of the night/morning feed, I am going to pump right after. I just really do not want to do it. I’m just starting to get a couple of decent sleep stretches, around 5-6 hours at least once a week, and I do not want to stay up any longer and pump. Plus there is always the unknown, and with Briar, the unknown is scary. What if she doesn’t go back to sleep and I’m hooked up to the pump and I have to keep unhooking to go check on her? I already know how pissed I’m going to be because I don’t want to be pumping anyways. Regardless, I have to do it.
  • Something else that I am trying is I order this supplement.IMG_0363 I read about it in a blog and it wasn’t too much money, about $25 shipped, so I was willing to try it. I will follow up with the results. Hoping for a big increase :).
  • If my supply keeps stays the same, my absolute last resort is to give up coffee. I have already resorted to no creamer since I’m dairy free now, so I’m drinking black coffee. If I have to give it up altogether, I might cry. A lot.

So that’s where I’m at….hoping for a good follow up in a couple of weeks.


–The Kentucky Momma



3…..4 months with a Toddler and a Newborn

Well, I’m 3 months into our new life of 4. It’s definitely hectic and we are still trying to figure things out.

I’ve been asked several times how much harder are things with two kids. Everything is harder. But, in my personal opinion, the hardest adjustment was going from 0 kids to 1 kid. You have to sacrifice literally everything and care for another human being. You have to put someone else before yourself. Our family of 3 got into a routine and then we added Briar. Things are a little shaky, but we are already in the habit of caring for another human being, and now we just added one to the mix.

As I assumed, balancing time between kids, our careers, our marriage, our social lives, household chores is all very hard and stressful. But, we manage. Some days are better than others, and that’s okay for now.

For the first three months, Briar has basically been attached to me. Which leave Scott to care for Raelynn. I’ve had hard time dealing with this because I’m sacrificing a lot of time with Raelynn. In my head, I told myself, things weren’t going to change. I would get equal time with both kids, but that’s just not reality, unfortunately.


I’m going to lest this post Rest In Peace because we are now 4 months into our new life….

And I’m dying….

Literally dying from no sleep…


The moment I think that Briar has somewhat turned a corner, it’s like she looks at me and laughs in my face for even thinking such a reasonable thing can happen.

From month 3 to month 4, a lot has changed.

Developmentally, Briar has learned to roll over both ways. She smiles SO much. She laughs out loud. It’s the cutest thing. If we place a toy in front of her, she will grab it. It’s amazing the things we get excited about as parents.  Me to Scott – “OH MY GOD SCOTT, LOOK!! SHE GRABBED THE RATTLE!!!” Scott to me – “KEISH, SHE’S ABOUT TO ROLL OVER, STOP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING AND COME LOOK!!” I mean, seriously. Who are we??

She is still pretty fussy from 5pm – 7pm. It does seem we have more good days than bad though, so that’s a plus. I remember feeling completely locked down with Raelynn when her last feeding and bedtime was at 7pm and I already feel like again. Briar has no fear in letting you know that she is hungry and ready for bed. It doesn’t matter where we are.

Sleep…Sleep is still the biggest issue for me…I guess sleep really is overrated because it’s still pretty nonexistent. She was really taking well to the swaddle and then she started to roll and I was done with it at that point. I would feed her at 7pm, when she was done eating, I would swaddle her, and then I would have to rock/hold her for about 40-50 minutes before I could set her down in her crib. At this point, there was no putting down to sleep drowsy. This worked for us, so we did it. From there her sleep varied tremendously. Some nights she would wake up at 11pm. The majority of nights she would wake up between 12am – 1am, A very small handful of times she would sleep until 2am, and we had one instance where she slept until 3am. Of course that night, I didn’t make it to bed until almost 11pm :\. Go figure. So, she was overall having a very good first stretch of sleep. I would go to bed anywhere from 8:30 – 9:30. On most nights it was 8:30 just so I could get at least 3-4 hours of sleep. After her first stretch of sleep, her middle of the night wakings were literally everywhere. Sometimes it was every 2 hours, sometimes it was every 3 hours. On average, she was still waking up 3 times a night. After her first stretch, she would either come in the bed with me or go to the couch with me. I couldn’t muster up enough energy to stay awake and nurse her in her room and put her back down asleep in her crib. It was easier for me to nurse her, then lay her next to me so I could at least get some rest.

So, when she started to roll, we ditched the swaddle.I had read several different articles about how to wean off the swaddle: one arm out, two arms out, Merlin’s Magic Sleep suit, Zip a Dee suit. I told Scott that I just wanted to cold turkey it. I figured, there was nothing consistent about her sleep right now, so what’s the point in trying to slowly transition out. Let’s just do it and get it over with. The first couple of nights were a little tough. She had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep, initially. It would take around 1 1/2 – 2 hours to finally get her to sleep. That was a combination of Scott and/or I going in her room and shushing her or putting that god forsaking pacifier back in her mouth. We let her cry a little bit. I’m very hesitant to do a full on cry it out with her because of Raelynn. I can’t imagine having to calm two kids down and put two kids back to sleep. We do a somewhat modified version. We let her cry for a couple of minutes and then we go in and reassure her that all is well. That has paid off tremendously for us. For the past couple of days she has went right to sleep after her feeding. She may toss and turn for a minute or two to get settled, but no real crying or having to go back in.  For about a week, she was sleeping like a champ, down at 7pm up around 1am-2am then up around 5:30am – 6am. Still very broken sleep for me and no more than 4 hours at a time, but I felt like I could see the light. Then….the 4 month sleep regression happened. It happened with Raelynn too. I was just hoping to slide right on by this time. It started last weekend. Friday night and Saturday night she was up every 2 hours. Then Sunday night happened. She never slept for more than an hour at a time. I was awake from Sunday morning until Monday night. I was awake for around 40 hours. It was terrible. I never EVER go into work late and I didn’t make it into work until around 9:30am Monday morning. I felt terrible. I know I looked terrible. WHYYY was this happening? I swear, I’m never getting sleep again. My body might be regulating to 4 hours of sleep, because now 4 hours of consistent sleep feels natural and normal. This past week (Monday – Wednesday), I thought she had somewhat went back to normal sleeping habits. I was putting her to bed around 7pm, then getting up around 1:30am – 2:00a.m. and then again around 5:30am – 6:00am, UNTIL Scott informed me that she was waking up every night between 10:30pm and 11:00pm. He was getting to her before I woke up and has been able to settle her back down to sleep until she wake up for me. So, instead of the normal 2 night wakings, we have somehow increased to 3 wakings. Last night there was even a 4th waking. All I know to do is to keeping being consistent and hoping this passes soon. I’m at a loss. Since she has been born, I’ve not got more than 4 hours of sleep, a handful of 5 hour stretches, and one 6 hour stretch. And at this point, we are going backwards, but hopefully not for long.


We had our first overnight with both kids away and I wish I could have enjoyed it more. I guess, the sleep, I mean. That was my only 6 hour stretch. They stayed at my in laws house. I was not sad at all to give them away. LOL. I wish I could do it more often. Scott and all of his guys went to a BeerFest and me and all of the girls went to a WineFest. It was much needed. But, as you can imagine, I didn’t wake up feeling refreshed. I woke up feeling very hungover. I had to get up early to pump, then pick up the kids from my in laws and take them daycare so Scott and I could recover. I didn’t really feel like myself again until about 5pm.

Breastfeeding is becoming another issue. The beginning of our breastfeeding relationship was MUCH better than Raelynn and I’s. Briar is eating MUCH more than Raelynn did at this point. Raelynn was around three or four, 3 – 3.5 ounce bottles every 3 hours while we were apart. Briar is four, 4 ounces bottles every 3 hours. That’s 16 ounces for Briar compared to around 12-14 ounces with Raelynn. It doesn’t seem like a big difference, but I struggle majorly to get 16 ounces a day. I had to add a pump session in at night, which I absolutely hate. Instead of going to bed at 8:30, I now have to pump at 8:30. I’m considering power pumping for a while until my supply goes back up. I drink Mother’s Milk Tea every single night. I put flax seeds in my protein shakes and in my morning oatmeal. I have just recently ordered some cookies from a nursing mom. The company is called Milk Boosters. I’ve read rave reviews about them. I am praying they work. I also just ordered some brewers yeast to make my own cookies. I’m hesitant to take Fenugreek because I’ve heard it can upset mom and babies stomach so I will hold off on that for now. For a couple week straight, I had to get into my frozen stash to make up the 16 ounces. I knew that once I started supplementing with my frozen stash, I was letting my body know it was okay not to make any more milk than I was making, so that’s why I added in the 8:30 pump. I am currently making just enough day to day and as of the last two weeks I haven’t had to dig into my frozen stash. I maybe freeze 3 – 5 ounces a month which is terrible. I think I maybe have around 120 ounces frozen and 100 of those ounces contain dairy :/. So I am on the struggle bus for sure to make the milk. Ideally, I would love to add a pump session in the morning, but Briar is just too inconsistent with her sleep. I know the day I would wake up, so would she and she would want to eat. Or she would wake up as soon as I get done pumping. I would love to have just an extra ounce or 2 a day. I don’t need or want a huge stash, but just enough to feel comfortable if something were to ever come up.


And my little Raelynn. She is becoming a feisty…almost 3 year old…cue the tears. I don’t know where the last 3 years have gone. It’s really sad. She’s so smart. But, she takes after both me and her daddy…she is a head strong little girl. She is starting to give us a hard way to go. I don’t think it has anything to do with Briar because she gets ample time with us after Briar goes to bed. We make sure to spend quality time with just her. I just think she is going through a toddler stage. She is definitely Miss Independent, she is strong willed, she is so bossy (me). Sometimes I feel like I see some of my negative traits come out in her. I expressed this to my therapist in my last meeting; the bossiness in particular. I want Raelynn to be a good leader and I want her to stand up for herself, but I also want her to listen and be able to help other people. I told the therapist, my controlling and bossy side has come out majorly in Raelynn already. I am scared to death more than anything that I am going to portray my anxiety onto Raelynn and that’s the absolute last thing I want. I would not wish my anxious self on anyone. I try to be very careful and mindful what I say, but sometimes, I just say the wrong shit. I’m trying very hard. Plus, I want to be happy. I want her to see me happy. I want her to see me and her daddy happy. All of those things are very important to me and balancing all of them are really hard.

Speaking of being happy with Scott. We are about the same. We aren’t terrible, but we aren’t great. When we both get home from work, it’s balls to the wall until Briar goes to bed, then Raelynn goes to bed, then I have to pump, then I’m tired so I go to sleep. The weekends are already getting crazy with plans. It just seems we never have time to ourselves. We never MAKE time for ourselves. Just today, I asked him if he would be okay with me going out to eat Friday night with a couple girls. He said yes, and then in turn asked if he could go to grab a drink with friends tonight. I, of course, said yes, then immediately said, “Next time we need to make plans together, not separate.” The last time we had a date night was when I was 6 months pregnant, so around 6 months ago…and before that….I think it was well over 6 months.  Another thing that plays into us never making plans together is that we feel one of us always has to stay home with the kids. If not, we have to find a sitter and they are hard to come by with two kids. Everyone is a little more hesitant to jump on the babysitting bandwagon with two kids. One that we use regularly, we pay hourly, and sometimes that’s just not in our best interest to have to pay someone, or we literally don’t have the money. So we each make a sacrifice so the other can have some time away from the kids. It just sucks that we don’t spend more time together without the kids.

Work is a whole other issue and it’s praying on me more and more each day. Ever since Briar, I feel like I just cannot get back into the swing of things and I hate it. I feel myself becoming less and less focused at work. It’s a very huge struggle for me because I’m normally very work oriented. I stay under a lot of pressure at my job and it really sucks to not be 100% focused.

A couple of pictures of the girls over the last month or so…



That’s it for now. Until next time…


–The Kentucky Momma