Briar is ONE!

In the midst of all things gloomy…

…we now have a ONE YEAR OLD!!

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As with most people, I have no idea where the past year went. It was a hard one, that’s for sure. For me, the main factors that made it hard were going back to work at 6 weeks, breastfeeding, no consistent sleep until she was 6 months old, breastfeeding, pumping, breastfeeding, getting pregnant with a new baby and losing the baby all before she turned 1, and breastfeeding….

At this point, I have finished breastfeeding. It wasn’t intentional, but the last time I nursed her was her 1st birthday. I was going through the miscarriage, I was ready for my body to get back to normal, I was so over pumping, I had enough milk to last a couple more weeks until we fully transitioned over to an alternate milk, I had ultimately met my breastfeeding goal of 1 year. I was just done. So, after I nursed her and laid her in her crib, and walked out of her room, I just decided that was it. The next night and every night after that she has been perfectly fine. It was like I didn’t even nurse her EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR ONE ENTIRE YEAR. February 6th was her last day of breast milk. We had been half breast milk and half of an alternate milk for about 1 month before.

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Briar’s Last Bag of Milk

When she was 11 months she started taking some step here and there, and it wasn’t much longer after that until she was full on walking. She was walking by her 1st birthday, 2 months faster than Raelynn. I love that she is mobile now and can walk around on her own. It makes my life a million times easier. I mean, she is still mama’s girl and wants me to hold her constantly, but at least I can get somewhat of a break.

She still only has her two bottom teeth. She spouted those around 9 months and there is nothing else that even looks like it’s about to break the skin anytime soon. My nipples appreciated that.

For the moment, Briar’s constipation problems have eased. Giving her baby food prunes consistently every single day have helped. Literally if we miss one single day, she is backed up again. I have no idea what I’m going to do to get her off the prunes. She might be eating baby food prunes until she is 10. The doctor suggested that we could go ahead and start giving her miralax, but I really do not want to start doing that. I have no idea how we are ever going to wean Raelynn off of that. Same issue with Raelynn, if she misses one day of miralax, she backs up and it’s really bad. I’ve been having to give her suppositories lately which is not fun at all.

We had a lot of sickness in month 12. Basically after Christmas, all 4 of us were sick. nothing major, just not feeling good, congested, runny noses. And it’s never really went away. I’ve had to take Raelynn and Briar to the doctor multiple times this month, but it was never anything serious. I actually ended up having to take Briar to the immediate care one time. She was exhibiting flu like symptoms and there is basically a flu pandemic right now so I was scared to death. The flu is killing everyone left and right, so I didn’t hesitate to take her to immediate care. They said it was probably something viral, which I was extremely thankful for. I have found this medicine that I started giving both of the girls. It’s just an immunity booster. I get it from the same place I get my protein from. I would like to think it helps them. And I’ll continue to give it to them throughout these winter-sick months.

That’s all I got for now…

Until next time…

—The Kentucky Momma

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Week 5

Week 5

This week was crazy. It was the dreaded Christmas week. And much more excitement. Some good and some bad…

However…

…We had the entire Christmas Eve holiday all to ourselves. Just me, Scott, Raelynn, and Briar. No where to go. Nothing to do. So what did we do, we did Christmas shit. We watched Christmas movies, we listened to Christmas music, we baked cookies, we made Christmas treats. It was amazing. You know, I talk so much about other people not willing to give up their Christmas Day or move their times to accommodate, but maybe I am the one that needs to give up the fact that we will never have Christmas Day to ourselves. This year showed me that. Even if it’s not Christmas Eve every year, if it’s at least one day near or around Christmas where my little family can do Christmas shit, I’ll be 100% happy. This year Scott and I were really big on trying to form traditions with Raelynn. I hope we can continue them.

So, on Christmas day, I was sick. And not from being pregnant. I was sinusy/snotty/congested. It was terrible. And of course, I literally cannot take anything sinus related because I’m pregnant and because I’m still breastfeeding! More so because I am still breastfeeding. Any type of sinus medication will dry up your milk supply quick! And as you already know, I’ve had a terrible time with my supply. After Christmas, it got worse. I guess it turned into a sinus infection. I just let it run its course. Towards the end of the week, I was much better.

This week I also started my progesterone. Whenever I called to make my first appointment, I asked the doctor if I needed to start taking this again since I had taken it in my last pregnancy. I remember that it made me feel like shit last time. It’s kind of weird because this time, I’m not feeling terrible at all yet. I’m not feeling any more tired than I was last week. If anything I actually feel a little better. Of course, that worries me. Why do I feel okay this time? Why am I not sick? I’ve been taking the progesterone for an entire week…and nothing. I should probably just be okay with it and take it in stride, but it’s hard not to be cautious. And how dare I even say that I am actually starting to accept the fact that I’m pregnant. It’s just such a roller coaster of emotions.

The only bad thing that happened this week was Scott was in Nashville for the Kentucky bowl game and I came home from work on Friday to a busted pipe under our porch outside. I am all about an independent woman and knowing how to do shit yourself, but I was freaking the fuck out. I pulled up with the kids in the truck and I noticed some wet spots in the driveway. I have no idea why I noticed this. Then, I got out of the truck and it literally sounded like a waterfall. I literally almost lost my shit. I could tell the direction in which it was coming from so I started looking. We have lattice that covers around our porch and I was literally ripping pieces off so I could see how bad it was. Once I got a clear view, it was a for real waterfall. I had no idea what to do. I called Scott’s dad because he lives down the road. He brought a neighbor over that was actually a plumber. The bad part is, both of them were injured so they could not crawl under the porch and fix it. The plumber had to coach me on what to do. I had to cut the pipe and cap it off. I pretty much felt like a badass after I fixed it. LOL. But I don’t ever want to deal with that again.

Crossfit for the week…

I only went once because Christmas…

Thursday December 28

Strength – I was actually excited for snatches because it’s something that I have been slowly improving on. I worked up to 95# which is a new PR for me!!!!

Snatch Complex

Snatch Pull

Snatch

1 x 1

MetCon – nothing like a good ol’ body weight exercise to make you realize how fat you are. 50% of my body weight was 90#………………………………………….yeaaa…………..this sucked. My score was 7+7

15min AMRAP

8 – Deadlifts

6 – Hang Cleans

4 – Front Squats

2 – Push Jerks

50% Bodyweight

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Week 4

I have decided that I’m going to take the same stance on this pregnancy as I did last pregnancy and try to keep up with weekly blogs. Now that I am pregnant again, I’m already looking back to old posts and I’m forever thankful that I posted weekly.

So, week 4. My baby is as big as something so microscopic that the naked eye can’t see it. Yet, this little microscopic shit has the ability to make me fall asleep at 8:00 p.m. every single night. So so so so so so so unbelievably, incredibly tired. Other than that, no other symptoms yet, so I’ll take it.

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I already scheduled my first appointment for January 10th. I will have an ultrasound and everything. Scott will be going with me. For this appointment, we just hope a baby is there and only one baby. Since I have been pregnant with multiples one other time, it really scares the shit out of us to think that I could be pregnant with more than one. The chances are probably slim to none that it will happen, but just the thought of it freaks us out.

We are both still trying to cope with the fact that I’m pregnant in general. It’s a lot for us to process since we were not prepared for this. Financially, it’s really stressing us out. We both keep trying to wait to stress out until we actually know there is a baby in there, but it’s hard not to think about all of the “what-if” situations.

Another big blow we took this week was we found out there would be no room at the Raelynn and Briar’s current daycare for the new baby. I told the daycare provider almost immediately and she told me there were no spots open. It sucks because then I think about the fact of having to put this baby in another daycare. Would we continue to take 3 kids to 2 different daycares? Probably not, so then would we pull Raelynn and Briar from their current daycare?? That thought makes me so sick because I love our current provider. Right now, I think Raelynn would be the only one to comprehend this. Would Raelynn be sad? I don’t know if I’m prepared to deal with that…

A whole other factor with this pregnancy, is for the time being, I am still breastfeeding. Since I have found out I’m pregnant, my supply has dipped even more. So my supply took a huge hit whenever I went to Vegas and then traveled for work. I was never really able to get it back up where it needed to be. And now, it has taken yet another hit. I’m currently making between 9-12 ounces a day. I used to make that in my first pump of the day. I still have some extra milk built up in the freezer, so I’m hoping between me pumping and what I have in the freezer, it will last me to my goal of 1 year.

Trying to stay positive for the time being…but I know these 9 months will come and go before I am even able to process it. Scott and I will try to hit it hard and figure things out after my first ultrasound.

CrossFit for the week:

For the moment, nothing has changed here either. I went about my regular movements and routine. I told my workout partner and coach, Erick. He said…”AGAIN?!” LOL

Monday December 18

Strength

Hang Clean Complex – worked up to 125#

Hang clean pull

Hang power clean

Hang squat clean

1 X 1

WOD

15 min AMRAP – score was 8+17

5 push presses

15 situps

25 air squats

#115/85

Tuesday December 19

Strength – no modifications yet for any ab movements

5 minutes

:20 superman hold

:20 hollow body hold

:20 rest

MetCon B – time10:54

50 cal row

20 thrusters

25 cal row

10 thrusters

#115/85

Wednesday December 20

Strength

Single leg KB DL/press

6×3 (each leg)

AHAGFA (as heavy as good form allows)

MetCon – This metcon was really fun. For the 12 days of Christmas, we did a push up for each day of Christmas…for the Feliz Navidad, we squatted every time they said feliz navidad or Merry Christmas. Even though it was short, my tris and my legs were dead for the next couple of days.

12 Days of Christmas – Pushups

Feliz Navidad – Squats

Thursday December 21

Strength

5 min EMOM

Front squats – used 160# which was heavy AF!

3 @ 85%

MetCon A – I actually did not end up finishing this. In the 6th round I ripped really bad on the rig doing T2B. Stupid.

8RFT

3 Snatches

6 OHS

9 T2B

#95/65

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Unexpected News

I’m pregnant.

For the 5th time, I’m pregnant.

But for the first time, it’s unexpected.

And I’m a ball of fucking emotions for several reasons.

First of all, this was not planned. We were not prepared for this at all. In particular, I was not prepared for this and, for the moment, it’s for extremely selfish reasons. . I am almost 11 months post partum and I’m just about to get my life back from breastfeeding. I am still nursing Briar and the light was at the end of the tunnel for me. Breastfeeding has been so hard with Briar. I was so looking forward to not living by the pump every 3 hours while I was at work. I was looking forward to be able to enjoy a night out and not worry about pumping at night or in the morning.

Second of all, we are in no shape, financially, to have another child. Ever since we’ve had Briar, we have majorly struggled financially and there have been a couple of contributing factors to this. Scott made about $10,000 less this year. There was nothing he could do about it. Our daycare bill doubled. I think we were more mentally prepared for this then financially. I had my last student loan that became due. In order to stay ahead for the year, we have completely depleted our savings account. We literally have no backup money at all, and we cannot stay ahead of the game. Our savings account ran out in November. So we are really starting to feel the effects of it now. We do not make enough money to cover our monthly bills, and this is not a joke. So, for the moment, I cannot even fathom how we are going to afford another child.

Third… I’m scared I’m going to miscarry. Even though this child was the most unexpected surprise, I would never want to lose it. I just have a really weird feeling. I can’t explain it.

So, how did I find out…

It was Saturday, December 16th. I had a feeling I was pregnant. I had a pregnancy test, so I took it. It was almost immediately positive, but the line was pretty faint. But, nonetheless it was positive.

The first one is the first test I took. I took the second a couple of days later and there was obviously no doubt at this point that I was pregnant. 

 

I instantly felt sick to my stomach when I saw the positive test. I was legitimately freaking the fuck out. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. And Scott was not home. I was DREADING telling Scott. I knew he was going to flip out. I just knew he was. He has been so adamant about not having another kid. He was going to lose his shit. I texted him to see if he was almost home and he was. A couple minutes later I saw him walking up the driveway. I took a deep breath and the door swung open. He talked to the girls for a second then walked up to me, and I said, “I have to tell you something.” He said, “What? Just get it over with and tell me….” I felt he was kinda mad. So, I said, “I’m pregnant.” Y’all…he for real lit up and said, “Are you serious?”, with a big smile. I instantly broke down. I think just verbally saying it out loud and obviously to Scott just made everything so real. I was happy he was not mad.

He kept asking why I was crying. Was it a good cry or a bad cry? I just kept saying that I wasn’t ready yet. And I couldn’t believe that we put ourselves in this position. He just kept hugging me and reassuring me that we would make everything work. We talked very briefly about all the points I mentioned above. For the most part, he agreed.

It still doesn’t feel real. Briar isn’t even 1 yet. Which means she will not even be 2 when this new baby is born. And Raelynn will barely be 4. Actually, this baby’s due date would be right around Raelynn’s birthday. I mean, I just clearly know how to plan this shit out.

I know all of this will work itself out, no matter how it plays out. I know that God will not give me anything I can’t handle, but shit. I feel like I’ve been thrown for a loop this year.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

11 months…

Briar is almost 1 year old. I cannot believe that she will be one year old in less than a month. Time flies.

She is starting to take a couple of steps which I am so happy about. I am ready for her to walk and be mobile. She is definitely a momma’s girl for the moment. I remember Raelynn being like this too because of breastfeeding. I am feeling so touched out at this point. Briar literally wants to hang on me constantly or wants me to hold her all the time. She very rarely wants Scott. Just me. It just makes me want to be done with breastfeeding even more so I can get a break from her.

Breastfeeding is going okay for the most part. As stated in one of my prior posts, Vegas completely ruined my supply. The very next week after Vegas, I went on a business trip. On my trip, my pumping still wasn’t consistent and guess what else…I started my freaking period. Full on, hardcore, period. TMI, I know, but shit…I was so pissed. I hadn’t had my period in a little over a year and half, so as you can imagine, I was not prepared for this.

Back to breastfeeding….I currently do not make what she needs day to day, but I have extra from Vegas so I’m using that for the moment. She has recently went from 24 ounces a day to 20 ounces a day. It may not seem like a lot, but it helps me tremendously. Also, on weekends, she only nurses about every 4 hours or around 4 times per day. She has really picked up eating real food. I love and hate this.

I’m sure I’ve probably mentioned it before, but Raelynn has pretty bad constipation problems. She is on Miralax every single day. I hate it, but it makes her go. Briar is way worse that Raelynn. Briar eats so much real food and then she gets backed up. Her stomach gets so hard and then she doesn’t want to eat anything because she’s full. So, I have to put Vaseline on a Q-Tip and stick it up there and swirl it around (I hope you enjoy this visual) so she will go. And when it comes out, it looks like adult poop. And she bleeds so bad. It makes me so sad. We give her prunes everyday. Sometimes a double dose. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes it doesn’t which is frustrating. For the most part, she eats natural, healthy food. She eats whatever we eat and she always eats a ton of fruits and vegetables. Just recently, I have started Raelynn and Briar on a probiotic in hopes that it will help. I think it may be helping Raelynn, but I’m unsure about Briar. I will keep on and see if it makes a difference.

Raelynn is wonderful, as always. There is nothing really new to report with her. She is the same ol’ rambunctious 3 year old. She is for sure Scott’s girl.

We recently celebrated Christmas (more discussion in another post)…but we brought out the infamous “Elf on a Shelf”. I was initially dreading this, but it turned out to be really fun for everyone. We did not do anything over the top. For the most part, we just moved it to a different spot every day. I didn’t want her to expect extravagant things every single day because I did not want to do extravagant things every single day. I was very surprised that I did move it every day. Whenever Raelynn woke up it was the first thing she wanted to do…”LET’S GO FIND SPARKLE!!!!” I’ll never forget the first day we brought it out, we read her the book and explained how it would work. It was a weekend. She got up the next morning and instantly asked where Sparkle was. I literally left the damn thing in the box. First damn night. Here are a couple of “extravagant” things we did:

Welp – almost a month and a half not blogging and y’all see how boring my life is LOL.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Not even sure what Month it is anymore….

Welp, 9 months really threw us for a loop.

Cue growth spurt, minor sickness, AND TEETH all at the same time.

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I knew a growth spurt happened around 9 months so I was expecting it, but hoping it would pass with grace. Overall it wasn’t terrible. Briar definitely increased her breast milk intake temporarily in the form of night waking. Again, it most definitely was not terrible. I would feed her and she would go back to sleep. It was a trend for about a week or two. We’ve also almost completely transitioned her off of purees and onto actually people food, just cut up super small. I totally love this because she basically eats what we eat and it’s much less meal prep for me. I still buy fresh food, but I don’t have to do anything special with it.

Both girls have actually been really congested and snotty for a couple of weeks actually. It’s just unfortunately that time of year in the Ohio Valley. When the weather changes from hot to cold the sinus colds are pretty much inevitable.

And believe it or not, Briar is sprouting her two bottom teeth. I was absolutely amazed. If you are an avid reader…which I hope you are…Raelynn did not get her first tooth until she was 15 months old and it was her top tooth and I was done nursing at this point. I was actually hoping Briar would be the same so my nipples could be spared being bitten off. I’ve never nursed a baby with teeth so this should be an interesting journey. I know mom’s do it all the time, but I just never have.

And…in case you are wondering…today is November 15th which means we have already went to VEGAS!!!! and the most exciting thing is…AS OF THE DAY I LEFT, I HAD ENOUGH OF MY GLORIOUS DAIRY FREE MILK TO FEED BRIAR THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS GONE. I felt such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that was out of the way. Now I really felt like I could go enjoy Vegas. And I did. We did. We lived Vegas up for the week we were there. We went out to clubs, we played Top Golf, we walked the strip, we literally drank every minute of every day..or so it felt like…Scott and I totally needed it. We needed the time away from kids. We needed the time to rekindle our relationship. And we did. **wink wink**

However…as you can imagine, my supply took a huge hit. It was a combination of missing pumps, not pumping consistently at the same time every day, not staying hydrated, not eating enough. Today, I am actually away for business and for the entire day, I barely pumped 10 ounces. Briar is still taking 24 ounces per day and nursing once at night. So, this is not good. Luckily, I have some extra milk to make up for what I am currently lacking, but starting next week (when I get back from business travel; hard to be consistent right now), I am going to pick up the power pumps again to hopefully regain some of my supply. At this point, I do not care about freezing any. I just want to be able to make enough. As of next week we will be 10 months in. I did a hard stop with Raelynn at 12 months, but I can totally see myself going longer just for the simple fact of Briar’s dairy sensitivity. Going longer for me will take a lot of will and perseverance because I am straight up over it. BUT, for a long time, the main thing for me was making enough milk for Vegas, and now I don’t have to worry about that so it’s a lot less stressful. And to know that end is somewhat in site takes some of the stress away too.

Speaking of traveling, I have been doing a lot more than I usually do. Two weeks before Vegas I went to California for 4 days, then Vegas for 6 days, and now I’m away for 3 days in North Carolina and South Carolina for work. And let me tell you…dragging around this big ass hospital grade pump is a pain in my fucking neck. For real. For personal travel, I have my purse, my pump, and my cooler to keep milk cold in. For business travel, it’s all of the previous listed plus my laptop. And I basically refuse to put any of it in the overhead bin. I could not imagine if my milk spilled or if my pump (not really my pump) somehow got broken. So, I’ve been doing A LOT of pumping and not a lot of nursing. I am currently on my last trip, at least I hope, until next March and I hope I’m done by then. If not, then someone better slap the shit out of me. Because I do not want to lug this pump and cooler around for another trip.

That’s about everything exciting that has happened over the last couple of weeks.

A couple of pictures over the last month:

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Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Month 8 and almost 9….

I can’t believe I have an almost 9 month old. 12 more days and she will be 9 months. Time is literally flying by. I love it and I hate it.

I love it because, at this point, I’m sure everyone is aware how much I love breastfeeding <–that is sarcasm in case you missed it….

I hate it because, well, she’s almost 9 months old. Which means she’s not a baby anymore. And I don’t miss the baby stage, I just really miss her being little.

So, breastfeeding. OMG how I fucking loathe it this time around. I hate that I hate it. I know I’m like a broken record, but I am so ready for it to be over. Pumping update…I am still not having to pump at 8:30pm anymore, so thank the lord for that. I still have to pump 5 times a day…waking up a 5:00 a.m. (so ready for that to end)…to get what she needs for the day. I even thought to myself, well, we are 8 months in, SURELY, my supply is established enough to drop a pump at work. N O P E. Tried it for 3 days and I lost 3 ounces each day. So, then I had to power pump and all the bullshit just to get my supply back up.

I am very slowly storing milk. I have approximately 24 days, 22 hours, 17 minutes, and 15 seconds…but who’s counting…until V E G A S ! ! ! ! ! ! This continues to be my biggest nightmare, storing enough milk for her. I should probably be very diligent and try to count every single day, but I’m scared to find out how much milk I do not have saved for her. At last count, I had approximately 160 ounces. I realistically need around 7 days of milk…times 30 ounces…210 ounces of milk…so I still need to freeze around 50 ounces of milk in 24 days, 22 hours, 9 minutes, and 54 seconds….but who’s counting….

In more positive news, Briar is doing wonderful. She is a typical almost 9 month old, cruising around EVERYWHERE. Everything is “DA DA DA DA”, sometimes I get a “MA MA MA MA MA” out of her. She is the most smiley baby ever. I mean, literally smiles all the time. As soon as she wake up and we get her out of the crib, she smiles. She has the biggest, most infectious smile. I love it.

Briar is still napping pretty well too. She is lingering between 1 and 2 naps a day. At daycare she only takes 1 nap a day, but it’s pretty long. At home, she sometimes takes 1 and sometimes she takes 2, it just depends.

Raelynn is great as well. Her personality is SO big. Sometimes to the point that I if we are doing something wrong. She is me made over. All the way down to the attitude and controlling. She is getting into a lot of trouble at daycare every single day. Every day when I pick her up, I have to ask, “Raelynn, were you a good girl today?” Then she side eye’s the daycare provider to see if she can convince her to say she was a good girl. I would be 3, sometimes 4 out of the 5 days she goes there, I get a bad report. This week, it has involved hitting someone and tearing pages out of a book. I just wonder if I should be doing something more. Something different? Am I too harsh on her?

OMG Raelynn is in the stage of asking a million questions too…I swear I think she could ask about 5 questions in 30 seconds.

Raelynn – “Why? How come? Why not? How come? How Come?”

Me – “Because I said so.”

Raelynn – “But how come, Mommy?”

Raelynn is still playing soccer. And she really loves it. This past week, she scored 4 goals and she was so proud of herself. It made me beam with pride. Just to see your child so happy about something, it’s truly heartwarming. It’s still pretty overwhelming during the week, but it’s almost over. And I’m ready for it to be over. I enjoy that she enjoys it, but we are just still so busy….and continuing to get busier.

I don’t ever know when my life will slow down and I hate it. I sometimes feel like life is passing me by and I’m not even living it. I’m just on autopilot.

Hoping for something more insightful next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Month 6 and 7

Well, month 6 just crept on by like no big deal and we already in month 7 with Briar.

So so so so so much has changed from Month 5 to Month 7.

Developmentally, all in about one week, Briar was able to situp, CRAWL, AND sit herself up from a crawling position. It’s so incredibly crazy how quick it all happened. She actually crawled first, then situp, and then put the two together. She has been very recently starting to pull herself up on things that she can reach. We had to lower her bed. And I am not exaggerating when I say that it all happened in a week. None of this happened with Raelynn until she was around 9 months old. Briar is essentially mobile. She can crawl all over the house. I love it. She can also entertain herself for a couple of minutes. It may not seem like a lot, but we have an area in the house dedicated to her and her toys in the living room. We can sit her there for a little bit and she will just play. Raelynn never did that and STILL does not do that. A couple of minutes may not seem like a lot, but it could be the difference in getting a couple sips of hot coffee in the morning!

Overall breastfeeding and pumping are going much better. It’s just a lot of freaking work this time and I am truly ready for it to end. I’m ready for it to end all for selfish reasons. I just want my body back. I want to feel like I do more than just pump all day long. I want to be able to sleep in. I currently live by the clock. Every three hours, I have to make sure I am either with Briar or with the pump. I hate it. Obviously, I would much rather be with Briar because it makes things 100% easier. But, as all of us working moms are aware, that is just not possible.

If you recall from my last post, this was my pumping schedule:

5:00 a.m.- wake and pump

8:00 a.m. – pump

10:30 a.m. – pump

1:30 p.m. – pump

4:00 p.m. – pump

7:00 p.m. – nurse

8:30 p.m. – pump

I am still following this for the most part, except for the past two weeks I have accidentally/on purpose got rid of my 8:30pm pump. It started a week prior to Raelynn’s party. It was crazy at work (to be discussed later or in a later post), I was trying to finish last minute things for Raelynn’s party. I just couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t stay up later because that would mean less sleep. So, I didn’t do it. And then I didn’t do it for another week. And now I’m almost 3 weeks in without having the 8:30 p.m. pump. Why is this significant? Because on my July 28th post, I wrote this:

6 pumps to make 24 ounces. It took a lot of freaking work. I am scared to even say this because I’m sure the pumping gods are looking down on me just waiting to give me another set-back, but I am actually a little ahead. I haven’t counted, because I’m scared. I’m scared to get excited, and I’m scared to set an expectation for myself, but as of right now, I may or may not have 3 full bottles of milk in the fridge that are 100% extra. So, for the moment…I am going to just let it stay cold in the fridge and I’m not going to count it. I’m scared to freeze it because then it’s like, “Oh hey, you have extra milk, GREAT. Now, cue the 24 ounces of spilled milk again since you have extra”. I’m just WAITING for that moment.

Since then…are you ready for this…I have been able to FREEZE 120 OUNCES OF MILK. LIKE I AM NOT KIDDING, Y’ALL. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY BEAUTIFUL DAIRY FREE OUNCES OF MILK. I can’t even believe it. I really, really can’t believe it. When I finally counted it over the week, I about fell over on the floor. As of right now, that’s 4 full days of extra milk for Briar. And just in case you have been keeping up with my blog…I will be going to Vegas in November and I will technically be away for 7 days….so I only need 3 more full days of milk. I have been stressing so so so bad about this. To be “over the hump” with milk production for when I’m away is a huge relief. I’m still holding my breathe a little bit. But I do feel a sense of relief.

In other Briar news, sleep is much, much improved. She is consistently sleeping through the night now. We put her down at 7:00 p.m. and she wakes up normally around 6:30 a.m. I will take it. She still sometimes wakes in the middle of the night, but those days are few and far between. Thank goodness!!

She is (we are), however, relying a lot on the pacifier. She FINALLY knows how to keep the damn thing in her mouth and she can now replace it in her mouth if it falls out. Since she has figured out how to do this, she has become a lot more dependent upon it. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. It’s helping her sleep through the night so I can’t complain about that, but it’s also the only thing that will get her to go to sleep for the night and for naps. I’m pretty conflicted on what to do. I truly am ready to get rid of it because the longer she has it, the harder it will be to take it away, but…why ruin a good thing? We really have a good thing going now so why in the world do I want to mess it up?

Naps are really good now. She has been napping in her crib for a little over a month. We are somewhat in a transition between 2 and 3 naps. Sometimes she take two 2 hour naps and she doesn’t need a third nap, but if she cuts one of those naps short, we incorporate a third nap.

Since she has been taking better naps and sleeping through the night, we have decided against sleep training for now.

My sweet Briar is growing so fast.

 

Until Next Time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Pumping…Success??? WHAT??

I may or may not be having some pumping success now…a whole 2 weeks later…

I FINALLY took the plunge and started waking up at 5 a.m. during the week to add in an extra pump. Now, this is what my day looks like:

5:00 a.m.- wake and pump

8:00 a.m. – pump

10:30 a.m. – pump

1:30 p.m. – pump

4:00 p.m. – pump

7:00 p.m. – nurse

8:30 p.m. – pump

6 pumps to make 24 ounces. It took a lot of freaking work. I am scared to even say this because I’m sure the pumping gods are looking down on me just waiting to give me another set-back, but I am actually a little ahead. I haven’t counted, because I’m scared. I’m scared to get excited, and I’m scared to set an expectation for myself, but as of right now, I may or may not have 3 full bottles of milk in the fridge that are 100% extra. So, for the moment…I am going to just let it stay cold in the fridge and I’m not going to count it. I’m scared to freeze it because then it’s like, “Oh hey, you have extra milk, GREAT. Now, cue the 24 ounces of spilled milk again since you have extra”. I’m just WAITING for that moment.

On the weekends, I do not wake up early. I sleep in a little and wait for Briar to get up between 6:30a.m. and 7:00a.m.. After she eats, then I pump. I yield anywhere from 4-6 ounces. That milk is pure extra milk. I nurse on demand on Saturday and Sunday; ranges anywhere from 2-4 hours between feedings. And then I pump again at 8:30 p.m. Again, the pump at 8:30 p.m. is solely extra milk. So, I have been doing this schedule for about 2 weeks, hence where I think the extra milk is S L O W L Y starting to make it’s way into my refrigerator and hopefully freezer…soon 🙂

So, what do I think the biggest factor was that helped? POWER PUMPING. 10000%. For an entire week straight, I power pumped at almost all of my pumping sessions. It fucking sucked. It was not fun. I felt like I could not focus on anything else except pumping. BUT, I’m lucky enough to work in a small company that allows me to basically do whatever I need. I have my own office, so I’m able to shut the door, pump, and still continue to work. I know I am a small percentage of women that is actually able to do this, which is why I’m forever grateful.

THIS…… —-> Power Pumping Guide THIS is the best thing ever. I had only ever read about one way to power pump, but this guide is BEYOND helpful. It explains all of the different ways that you can power pump. It’s pretty amazing actually. For the most part I used the pump 20, rest 10, pump 10, rest 10, pump 10; but I also used pump 10, rest 10, pump 10; when I didn’t have an entire hour to dedicate. And it truly did work. After about a week of doing this, I went back to pumping between 20-30 minutes (it takes me a long time to completely empty), and my supply was up. I couldn’t believe it.

Along with the power pumping, I have still been taking the “Let There Be Milk” supplement and I truly think that helps to maintain my milk supply. I also found a pretty good smoothie recipe that isn’t terrible for you. AND, the main plus (from a healthy standpoint) you get WAY less sugar than you do if you make and consume the cookies. Also you get as much brewers yeast in the smoothie as you would by eating a dozen or so cookies :/. I mean, I know, I like eating cookies too, but my sometimes my waistline does not appreciate it. In the recipe below, I up the brewer’s yeast to 2 TBSP, and the oats to a 1/2 cup.

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I also still eat oatmeal EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I can’t wait to not eat oatmeal anymore. I’ve also read some things about a drink called Body Armor. I have drank it a few times, but not consistently enough to see a change. I might have to test this one out.

I am still contemplating what to do for milk for our trip to Vegas. At this point, I am really unsure of how much milk I am going to have. As I’ve said a million times, I have about 100 ounces frozen, but with dairy. And it appears that I might slowly be able to start building somewhat of a dairy free freezer stash. I plan on reintroducing dairy into my diet soon to see how she takes it. If I was not going to Vegas, then I wouldn’t even care to reintroduce it to me, but at this point, I just want to be able to go to Vegas and have fun and not have to look up an allergen menu at every single restaurant that we go to. It could be a real game changer if she has outgrown her sensitivity. But, I’m not getting my hopes up. I have already decided that I’m not going to put her on formula for the one week that we are gone. In my opinion, that’s pointless and it would probably upset her stomach more than anything. The last option is getting milk from a milk bank. Then the issue becomes, you told me you were dairy free, but are you REALLY dairy free? It just makes me nervous. I’m also hoping she starts to take less as she gets older and starts to intake more solids. She will be 10 1/2 months when we leave. I basically have 3 months to build some type of stash. I know it’s doable. And I really want to be able to do it. Fingers Crossed!

I hate to even say this, but I will really be glad when I am done breastfeeding. It’s just a completely different experience this time around. Being dairy free, having to rent my pump and pay monthly, paying for supplements, pumping around the clock, always worrying if I have enough milk. It’s just really, really exhausting. Briar turned 6 months on July 22 and I told Scott to remind me every day that it’s all downhill from here. I just need that reminder that I’m on a downward slope so I will keep on pushing. It’s hard work, and it is 100% worth it, but I’m just ready to be done.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Breastfeeding Fail(s)

Follow up on my previous breastfeeding/pumping post…

So, a couple of weeks ago, Briar’s daycare said she needed 5 ounces, and then a couple of days later, she tells me she think she needs 6 ounces. 6 WHOLE OUNCES….4 TIMES A DAY….24 OUNCES….Bruhhhh…

I knew she was right though. So I went from thinking I needed at least 20 ounces a day, to at least 24 ounces a day. In the breastfeeding world, that’s a big ass jump in ounces especially when I was barely making the 16 ounces she needed. I knew I just needed to bite the bullet and make it happen.

For about a month now, I’ve been using the hospital grade pump. I can definitely tell a difference. My let-down occurs much quicker. And I had read somewhere (multiple places) that whenever your milk stops coming out, you can push the let down button again. Seems like common sense, but I never did it before, and it definitely helps. I can normally get at least 2, if not 3 good let downs.

I received in the “Let There Be Milk” supplement, and again, I can tell a difference in my pumping output. It tastes absolutely awful. I read a lot of reviews about it on Amazon and some people put it directly in the back of their throat and take it straight. I cannot do this. I put it in a shot glass, and put some water in it and shoot it. It’s literally the only way I can take it. BUT, it helps, so I don’t care. I will deal with the nasty taste.

Another huge factor, when we upped her bottles, I knew she was getting enough milk during the day so I decided that if she did wake up in the middle of the night, I was not going to feed her anymore. Well, I decided I would see how it went if I didn’t feed her. It’s been about 2 weeks and I am successfully not feeding her during the night anymore. She still wakes up from time to time, but she is not eating, so that makes my morning pump even bigger.

So, I went from barely being able to make 16 ounces to now barely keeping up with 24 ounces. I am making 24 ounces a day, but B A R E L Y.

But, yet another setback occurred….Every morning I send 1 bottle and a container full of milk for Briar. I put it in the diaper bag. When I was dropping them off one day last week, the bag was leaking….

ALL 24 OUNCES OF MILK WAS COMPLETELY GONE. ALL OF IT SPILLED IN THE DIAPER BAG.

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I didn’t realize this until I got to daycare. I just started crying. It’s the most terrible feeling when I am barely making what she needs and then I lost it all. All I have in my freezer that did not have dairy in it was 24 ounces. So, I had to go back home and get it and deplete my only freezer stash. What a terrible day.

Now, I literally have zero good freezer stash for her. So, if I’m ever short on making the milk she needs, I’m screwed.

THEN…this past weekend, I had an extremely sore throat, like it hurt to swallow. And I never have a sore throat so I immediately went for some cough drops. I basically had to keep one in my mouth for 12+ hours. Even in the middle of the night.

Woke up….pumped half of what I normally pump…Why, you ask…because menthol (active ingredient in cough drops) can cause a dip in milk supply.

I seriously give up. Everything I do, I am getting a set back.

I know I should just be focusing on the day to day, BUT, we are going on vacation in November, WITHOUT the kids. We are going to VEGASSSSS 🙂 I should be so excited, but I’m not. Because, all I worry about is how is my child going to be fed while I’m away? As of right now, she will starve, so that’s great. I have NOTHING extra to give her right now. So between now and November, I have to somehow freeze 200 ounces. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? That’s roughly 11 ounces a week that I need to freeze. And with no freezing in sight, that number will likely climb each week that I don’t freeze something. So it’s not looking very promising for me.

I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY AND PUMP. I KNOW THAT’S WHAT I NEED TO DO, BUT I JUST CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO GET OUT OF BED. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lord help me. I am literally counting down the months until I can be done breastfeeding. It’s been much more stressful than enjoyable this time around.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma