We Skipped Naps. And No One Died.

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For real. This happened. And for anyone that knows me, knows this is huge.

I get it, it sounds so fucking dumb. But I am a creature of habit. I thrive on a schedule. And for me to break a schedule purposely…that’s a big freaking deal.

First of all, I don’t even know what my life is lately. We are so so so so so busy. It’s ridiculous. We have seriously been non-stop for months, it feels like. Our free time has become even more limited in the past two weeks with Raelynn’s soccer. Just two more days out of the week where nothing gets accomplished. We have a mound of laundry (that is at least clean), that needs to be folded. The mound on the couch just keeps growing and growing and growing. So many dishes….So many bottles…….so many pump parts that all need to be cleaned. Meal prepping has been put on hold because there is literally zero time to prep meals right now. So many events on the weekends…we have just been living a very abnormal life right now.

This past Saturday, Scott and I had both had plans separately. Then on Sunday, we had plans together with the girls. On Sunday, we were going to a Food Truck and Craft Beer Festival. It was from 12pm – 6pm. Normally, we would wait to go until after the girls nap around 3pm. But, I didn’t really want to wait that long to go and then have to rush through everything. So, I said fuck it. We are skipping the naps today. Of course, I didn’t arrive at the decision that easily. Hell no. I contemplated over it for a week. Literally, a week. And I envisioned all of the worst case scenarios that could happen. What are the worst case scenarios? My children would cry and scream. Because no other child on the face of this earth has ever done that, right? I mean, I sound like the biggest idiot ever.

So, what actually happened? We went to the festival, walked around, and enjoyed ourselves. Briar was fairly content all day. Raelynn did get a little crabby and had a couple of emotional breakdowns, but they were limited in time. Really, nothing bad happened. On the way home, they both crashed hard.  And after that, we even went out to dinner. I mean, we were truly living on the edge on Sunday.

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Today is Wednesday. The mound of clothes still remains on the couch. The dishes still need to be cleaned. S O  M A N Y  D I R T Y  B O T T L E S.

BUT…

No one died when we skipped naps. And no one died when we skipped housework to play with our babies.

HOWEVER…

We are not going to skip naps all the time. Because I look forward to nap time every weekend 🙂 But, for me, it’s so nice to know that the world doesn’t end when we skip naps.

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I had a therapy appointment last week and we talked a lot about my anxiety being in overdrive. I talked to her about me planning to let the girls skip naps on Sunday. I mean, at the point that I am talking to the therapist about how crazy skipping naps makes me….like, seriously, I should probably be in a mental institution. She basically told me everything I already knew. I didn’t need her to tell me, but I can’t explain it. It just makes me feel better when my therapist tells me stuff.

So that’s my story on how we skipped naps and no one died. Tune in next week to see what other stupid thing makes me lose my mind.

 

–The Kentucky Momma

A N X I E T Y

My anxiety is in OVERDRIVE…

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The main trigger – Raelynn started soccer.

And I feel like such an asshole mom that this triggered my anxiety. I should be so excited that Raelynn started a sport. And I literally dread it.

It’s simple really. My schedule is changed and it literally fucked my whole world up. And it didn’t even change that much. But that small change and completed fucked up everything. Really, just me. Because the world is still turning and life is still happening as normal and I am just fucked up.

Our normal evening schedule is Scott and I get home between 5pm and 5:30pm. Briar goes to bed at 7pm, Raelynn goes to bed at 8:30pm. Before Briar goes to bed, we usually try to get Raelynn and Briar fed dinner. Just focusing on them to, it’s balls to wall. There is no time to do anything else but entertain them, feed them, make them happy, play with them. It’s just a lot.

So, the point of this, we are gone from the house from around 6- 8. As soon as we get home, we try to give Rae a little something and I fix Briar’s solids. I feed Briar at the field. When we get home, I rush to get Briar changed and settled down, nurse her, and put her to bed. Then it’s dealing with Raelynn saying she’s hungry and thirsty and wants cartoons. We try to limit her food and drink intake about an hour before bed time since she is potty trained. This makes a big difference for her not having accidents.

Obviously on soccer days, by the time both kids are down, I’m fucking beat. I do not want to do anything. And after both kids go to bed, I have a laundry list of things to do. I get Briar’s milk and solids ready for the next day, I get my gym bag ready, I try to do dishes or some laundry. I literally feel like if I sit and relax for one night, the list just continues to build. It drives me crazy.

I know, I’m fucking crazy, right? All I can say is that I wish I was not like this. I don’t wish this feeling on anyone.

My anxiety is triggering other areas of my life. My focus is non-existent in all areas. I feel like I cannot focus on anything. As I’m sure you’ve read, work has been super stressful, but I know I’m magnifying it because I cannot focus at all at work. I will start on something and get pulled in a different direction and then forget what I was doing and then get pulled into something else, then get a call that I need to take, it’s just a cluster fuck. I get to the point where I get so incredibly overwhelmed, that I just sit at my desk. Sometimes I cry because I feel like a piece of shit for not being able to sort out my thoughts and get my shit together.

On top of this, I thought I was personally having health issues, but it turns out, I’m okay.

For about the past month, I have been experiencing some pretty severe joint pain. Literally every single joint, my ankles, my knees, shoulders, wrists. It’s terrible. Whenever I work out, I actually feel good because I’m warmed up, but after, I stiffen up quickly.  My initial thought was I had to be calcium deficient. That was the only thing I could think of that actually changed in the past couple of months, besides me having a baby. Plus, it just made sense, especially with me cutting dairy from my diet. I didn’t want to assume this was the cause, so I decided to go get blood work done. I told the doctor that I had hit my deductible for the year, so run anything and everything on me. She did a complete blood panel and tested for a trillion different things. Only to find out that everything was normal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that everything is okay, I guess I was just looking for an answer.

For the first time in my life, I have actually considered talking to my therapist about anxiety meds. I am not happy that it’s come to this. I still don’t think I will actually pull the trigger and take them. I hate taking medicine in general. And I just don’t think I actually NEED anxiety meds. I just feel like, there are other options, but, I’m at the point where I have exhausted all other options and I’m still bat shit crazy. So, what else do I do? I feel like meds are the next answer.

I have a therapy appointment tomorrow morning. My appointment always seems to be perfectly timed. I’m sure my therapist is not looking forward to another bitching session.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Other things are happening besides Briar…

So, besides Briar, I do have a life.

Raelynn has had some very minor medical issues. She’s had an ongoing UTI for about a month. We have been treating it, but it’s not been going away. It initially started because she was sick and running a fever. I took her to the doctor and they tested her for a bunch of different things and the only thing that came back weird, was her urine. It tested positive for blood. So they sent it off for a culture and it came back positive for a UTI. They gave her a regular antibiotic and it did not do the trick. So we went back and she tested positive again. They gave her another antibiotic and it still didn’t kick it. We finally we back a third time and she still tested positive so they gave her another antibiotic. This antibiotic has kicked her ass. It’s called nitrofurantoin. We have to give it to her 4 times a day. And it’s a pretty big dose. Almost a teaspoon. It has literally sucked the life out of her. About 20 minutes after she takes it, she is down for the count. It gives her severe stomach cramps, she has no appetite, she has gotten sick once after taking it, another time she has a severe wave of nausea. It’s just so sad. Over the weekend I ended up calling the nurse hotline because I got pretty concerned about her. She was just so uncomfortable. She said that’s why this medicine was a last resort because the side effects are terrible. She pretty much told me that Raelynn would be sick for the 10 days she had to take it. G R E A T… Today, we are on day 5 of the medicine and she has pretty much been sick the whole time. Day 2 and 3 were the worst. She progressively got better on day 4. Hoping these next couple of days go by quick so we can be done taking this medicine.

Other than that, Raelynn has been fine. As I said previously, we celebrated her 3rd birthday. She got so much stuff and we had a good time celebrating with friends and family.

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Me…My Life…has been a freaking cluster. Nothing too bad really, just SO MUCH STUFF…SO MANY THINGS TO DO…

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Work remains the most stressful part of my life. This summer with work has been stress overload. It started with memorial weekend. That Monday, the GM of our company came for the week and ever since that week, every week after that, someone of high importance has visited our plant.

At the end of June, our company faced a severe cyber attack. Our entire business of 170,000 employees crashed. No one was able to access the network. Overall, my site was down for 2 1/2 weeks. No access to literally anything. We could not even turn our computers on. So on top of important visitors already taking up our time, now this… Saint-Gobain Cyber Attack

The first day of the cyber attack, my new finance boss traveled to our site from France to introduce himself and talk about what he expected of me. The change has been a good thing, over all, just more work. He is allowing me to become more of the financial controller that I’ve always wanted to be. But with that, comes more responsibility. More time away from my kids, my husband, my social life. So, was this really what I wanted?

Besides all of this, we had our follow up internal audit. Our initial audit was in December 2015, 3 months after I joined the company. Nothing had been accomplished in terms of internal control in the years prior to me so I was stuck with a huge cleanup project. The auditors were impressed with the progress that was made, but there is still a lot of work to do. Overall very happy, just glad that process is over with.

My last therapy appointment was interesting. I thought it was August 8th, but it was really August 9th. I was so so so overwhelmed and stressed from work, trying to manage home life, social life, family life, that I was just ready for a bitch session. I needed it badly. So, I roll in there on August 8th and she just kind of looks at me. And she said, “Well, you know your appointment isn’t until tomorrow?” I honestly thought she was joking. She then says, ” You and I must’ve been on the same wave length this morning because I actually printed out August 9th’s schedule and then caught myself. So when you showed up, it really threw me.” I just started crying. I needed to talk to her today. Not tomorrow. Today. I literally started sobbing to the point of not being able to talk. When I finally got my shit together, I just told her I was really overwhelmed and stressed out. But, everything was okay. My kids were healthy. Scott and I were okay. I guess, I was the only thing not really okay. Her original appointment came in, so I had to leave. I told her I would see her tomorrow. Tomorrow was a long time away…

…So tomorrow came, and I went to my therapy appointment and basically talked her ear off for the entire hour. I felt good afterwards. I just needed to vent. I told her that I didn’t mean to cry yesterday and she said that’s a stress trigger. I was releasing stress by crying. Makes sense.

Then, after ALLLLL of this…Raelynn turned 3. My first little baby is now a 3 year old. How is this possible? And you know what comes with a birthday….a freaking party to plan. Birthday parties are freakingggg expensiveeeee. It costs a crazy amount of money to feed everyone. I only invite immediate family and close friends and we always have a turnout of around 60 people, which includes kids. I always ask family to bring a dish so that helps, tremendously. I do not go overboard on decorations. BUT I still always end up spending a fortune. And now, Briar’s birthday is 5 months away….just another party to plan and more money to spend.

I just feel like I can’t breathe. I have zero time for anything. And I can’t seem to find any balance at all.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Month 6 and 7

Well, month 6 just crept on by like no big deal and we already in month 7 with Briar.

So so so so so much has changed from Month 5 to Month 7.

Developmentally, all in about one week, Briar was able to situp, CRAWL, AND sit herself up from a crawling position. It’s so incredibly crazy how quick it all happened. She actually crawled first, then situp, and then put the two together. She has been very recently starting to pull herself up on things that she can reach. We had to lower her bed. And I am not exaggerating when I say that it all happened in a week. None of this happened with Raelynn until she was around 9 months old. Briar is essentially mobile. She can crawl all over the house. I love it. She can also entertain herself for a couple of minutes. It may not seem like a lot, but we have an area in the house dedicated to her and her toys in the living room. We can sit her there for a little bit and she will just play. Raelynn never did that and STILL does not do that. A couple of minutes may not seem like a lot, but it could be the difference in getting a couple sips of hot coffee in the morning!

Overall breastfeeding and pumping are going much better. It’s just a lot of freaking work this time and I am truly ready for it to end. I’m ready for it to end all for selfish reasons. I just want my body back. I want to feel like I do more than just pump all day long. I want to be able to sleep in. I currently live by the clock. Every three hours, I have to make sure I am either with Briar or with the pump. I hate it. Obviously, I would much rather be with Briar because it makes things 100% easier. But, as all of us working moms are aware, that is just not possible.

If you recall from my last post, this was my pumping schedule:

5:00 a.m.- wake and pump

8:00 a.m. – pump

10:30 a.m. – pump

1:30 p.m. – pump

4:00 p.m. – pump

7:00 p.m. – nurse

8:30 p.m. – pump

I am still following this for the most part, except for the past two weeks I have accidentally/on purpose got rid of my 8:30pm pump. It started a week prior to Raelynn’s party. It was crazy at work (to be discussed later or in a later post), I was trying to finish last minute things for Raelynn’s party. I just couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t stay up later because that would mean less sleep. So, I didn’t do it. And then I didn’t do it for another week. And now I’m almost 3 weeks in without having the 8:30 p.m. pump. Why is this significant? Because on my July 28th post, I wrote this:

6 pumps to make 24 ounces. It took a lot of freaking work. I am scared to even say this because I’m sure the pumping gods are looking down on me just waiting to give me another set-back, but I am actually a little ahead. I haven’t counted, because I’m scared. I’m scared to get excited, and I’m scared to set an expectation for myself, but as of right now, I may or may not have 3 full bottles of milk in the fridge that are 100% extra. So, for the moment…I am going to just let it stay cold in the fridge and I’m not going to count it. I’m scared to freeze it because then it’s like, “Oh hey, you have extra milk, GREAT. Now, cue the 24 ounces of spilled milk again since you have extra”. I’m just WAITING for that moment.

Since then…are you ready for this…I have been able to FREEZE 120 OUNCES OF MILK. LIKE I AM NOT KIDDING, Y’ALL. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY BEAUTIFUL DAIRY FREE OUNCES OF MILK. I can’t even believe it. I really, really can’t believe it. When I finally counted it over the week, I about fell over on the floor. As of right now, that’s 4 full days of extra milk for Briar. And just in case you have been keeping up with my blog…I will be going to Vegas in November and I will technically be away for 7 days….so I only need 3 more full days of milk. I have been stressing so so so bad about this. To be “over the hump” with milk production for when I’m away is a huge relief. I’m still holding my breathe a little bit. But I do feel a sense of relief.

In other Briar news, sleep is much, much improved. She is consistently sleeping through the night now. We put her down at 7:00 p.m. and she wakes up normally around 6:30 a.m. I will take it. She still sometimes wakes in the middle of the night, but those days are few and far between. Thank goodness!!

She is (we are), however, relying a lot on the pacifier. She FINALLY knows how to keep the damn thing in her mouth and she can now replace it in her mouth if it falls out. Since she has figured out how to do this, she has become a lot more dependent upon it. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. It’s helping her sleep through the night so I can’t complain about that, but it’s also the only thing that will get her to go to sleep for the night and for naps. I’m pretty conflicted on what to do. I truly am ready to get rid of it because the longer she has it, the harder it will be to take it away, but…why ruin a good thing? We really have a good thing going now so why in the world do I want to mess it up?

Naps are really good now. She has been napping in her crib for a little over a month. We are somewhat in a transition between 2 and 3 naps. Sometimes she take two 2 hour naps and she doesn’t need a third nap, but if she cuts one of those naps short, we incorporate a third nap.

Since she has been taking better naps and sleeping through the night, we have decided against sleep training for now.

My sweet Briar is growing so fast.

 

Until Next Time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Raelynn’s Birth Story

My little, Raelynn. She turns 3 years old today.

T H R E E.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

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My sweet little girl. I was so excited to share Briar’s birth story and as I went back and looked at old posts, I realize, you never got to hear Raelynn’s story. So, here it goes…

When you water breaks, I think everyone has a misconception. You relate it to the movies when fluid is pouring out of your uterus. That just wasn’t the case whenever Raelynn decided she wanted to make her appearance.

I was 38 weeks and 3 days. 11 days before my due date. I had zero signs of labor. I was just uncomfortable. You know, because I was the size of a whale. At this point, I wasn’t sleeping well. Tossing and turning to try and find that right position. This was every single night pretty much. I felt like I never really fell into a deep sleep.

However, on August 23, 2014, around 3:00a.m. something else happened. I was half asleep/half awake, tossing and turning, and I heard and felt a pop. It was like a pop in my butt. I thought it was weird, but no pain. Then I had a flashback of a conversation that my mom had told me several times, “Whenever my water broke with Keisha, it felt like a water balloon popping.”

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME AND IT WAS THE PERFECT DESCRIPTION. IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE A WATER BALLOON POPPED IN MY ASS. WELL, IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF MY ASS.

I calmly got up and went to the bathroom. No fluid was pouring out of my uterus. But, I knew something wasn’t right. With no real proof that I was in labor, I laid back down in the bed. Then, I felt a trickle of fluid. I kept telling myself it was just discharge. But I kept feeling it. So, I got up again, being so careful not to wake Scott up, and checked myself. I mean, there was a presence of fluid. But, was this really my water? I wasn’t in any pain, I wasn’t having any contractions. I felt like I really didn’t know if I was in labor or not. It was so confusing.

I was about 80% sure that the pop I heard and felt was my water, so I decided to wake Scott up and tell him. He popped up in bed and said, “Are you sure you didn’t piss yourself?” He would say some dumb shit like that. I tried to call my doctor, but we had a pretty bad storm overnight and their phone lines happened to be down, so I called the hospital. They told me that I should probably come in. So, that’s what we did, but at a very slow pace. I had read several articles that said to take a shower and eat food if you can before you do into the hospital because you never know how long labor can be and you never know how long it will be until you can do both of those things again. So, I took a nice long, hot shower, blow dried my hair, finished packing the hospital bags. I told Scott I wanted to stop by McDonalds on the way there. I wanted something to fill me up because I had no idea when I was going to be able to eat again. All of this took about 2 hours. I did start having contractions. But, zero pain. And they were like 10-15 minutes apart. Nothing consistant at all.

By the time we got to the hospital, it was about 5:00 a.m. They immediately took me to a triage room and checked to see if my water really had broke. And it did. I was 3 cm. I got a little nervous at that point because they want you to have your baby within 24 hours of your water breaking, so I knew that Raelynn was going to be here within 24 hours or less. I just wanted everything to go as planned.

What was my plan? Get that fucking epidural and be in lala land until I had her. And I wanted to have her vaginally. That was the only thing I had planned for.

Other plans were in store for me though.

I got into my actual room around 7:00 a.m. Still no real pain. Contractions had picked up a little bit, but nothing crazy. Since my water had broke at 3:00 a.m. and my contractions weren’t really picking up, they told me they were going to start me on pitocin. They did this around 8:00 a.m.I knew what pitocin was, but I did not know that it was the devil. It literally brought the devil out in me. I felt like an exorcism needed to take place when that shit kicked in. So, the pitocin started around 8:00 a.m. They told me when I started to show some progress (dilating more), they would give me the epidural. I was just obvlious to all the shit that was about to take place.

The pitocin started out pretty slow. I could feel my contractions getting stronger and closer together, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.

Things start to get a little fuzzy around the 9:00 a.m. – 10:30 a.m. mark. I remember it all just kicked in at once. I was in an unbearable amount of pain. The contractions were taking over my body. No position felt good. I was on the bed, laying on back. I tried to turn to my side and nothing was making it better. I was crying. I started paging the nurse to get someone in here to give me the epidural. The nurse came in and she was an absolute bitch. She had been a bitch the whole time. She told me she needed to check me and see how dilated I was. I get that some people can be dramatic with pain, but fuck. I felt like I was dying. Surely you can see that I need this epidural. So, she attempted to check me and see if I had made any progress. I swear to god she stuck her entire fist up there. It hurt so bad, she ran me up the bed and I hit my head on the wall trying to get away from her. From there, my experience went completely downhill.

She told me that since I was not cooperating, she could not tell if I had progressed any, therefore, she could not get me orders for an epidural. If I’ve ever came close to punching someone in the face, it was in that moment. My pain was very obvious. And you are telling me the one thing that can take it all away, I can’t have. And she walked out of the room. I lost it. I cried uncontrollably. I was in so much pain. I have no idea how much time actually passed, I just know there is about 1 1/2 hours unaccounted for.

Around 10:30 a.m., the doctor who would deliver Raelynn came into the room. She wanted to know what the current situation was. DO YOU NOT SEE ME?!? I told her all of the preceding events. I pleaded for the epidural. PLEADEDDDDDD. She said she was going to check me. She looked at me in surprise and said I was 8 cm dilated. She then broke the news to me that it was too late for me to get an epidural and I was going to have Raelynn naturally.

Uhhh…..EXCUSE ME, WHAT?

No, bitch. That was not the plan.

I looked at Scott in utter disbelief that I was about to push a child out of my vagina with no medication. Zero. I literally had no words. I just couldn’t believe this was about to happen.

I honestly don’t remember if she left the room or got dressed in the room, but she checked me again at 10:45a.m. and said that I was at 10 cm, so it was time to start pushing. I didn’t actually start pushing until closer to 11:00.am.

I was 0% prepared for an unmedicated, natural birth. I had no idea what to do.

I put my legs in the stirups and she told me that whenever I had a contraction, to start pushing. I pushed for 21 minutes. And there she was. When she came out, my contractions stopped. And I was on an adrenaline high. It was a very euphoric feeling to have a baby naturally. I remember all I cared about was that she was out and my contractions were gone.

Raelynn Monroe Tower. 7.8lbs. 21 inches. 8/23/14. 11:21a.m.

And now here we are, 3 entire years later. The joy she has given Scott and I is unbelievable. She is so smart. She is such a good big sister. She makes me smile every time I am around her. It is such a blessing to be her mommy.

Now I’m going to go cry for the rest of the day.

 

–The Kentucky Momma

 

CrossFit + My Dairy Free Life

I realized the other day that I had not been giving as many updates on CrossFit and my diet in a while, so, here we go…

If you recall, around month 5, I was starting to get some glimpses of sleep. When I actually started to get some consistent nights of sleep, my engine came back and I was ready to go. At 7 months post partum, I am 100% the strongest I’ve been in my life. I’m on a PR train. I keep hitting them over and over. My endurance is back, and better than it ever was. I am just really focused on my health and well-being right now. Not only that, it’s such a good outlet and “me” time. In a 24 hours day, I look forward to that 1 hour of focusing on nothing else, except making myself a stronger person.

I am still about 95% dairy free. I have very recently started to trial some dairy back into my diet. There is a dairy ladder that I am following to properly reintroduce dairy. I started with some goldfish and everything seemed to be okay. I unintentionally ate some BBQ sauce with some butter in it (very minimal), and she has still been okay.

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Overall, the dairy free life has been very eye opening. I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. And honestly, the only reason I am trying to reintroduce dairy back into my diet is because of our Vegas trip in November. I just don’t want to have to spend my time looking up the allergen menu for every single restaurant that we go to. I just want to be able to go there and enjoy my time and enjoy eating shitty food and not feel guilty about it. I actually have done a little research about Vegas restaurants and there are several vegan restaurants. So, if worst comes to worst, I will be visiting those restaurants quite often.

After Vegas….let’s be real…after the holiday’s…, as long as I can successfully reintroduce dairy, I think I am going to take it back out of my diet. I just realized that I don’t miss it, and I don’t need it. I’m not saying I won’t occasionally have it when I want it, but I’m not going to make it an essential in my diet.

Whenever I started having supply issues, around 2 months ago, I stopped counting calories. Right now, feeding Briar is more important that fitting into a size smaller jeans. I eat basically the same things that I was eating before, but maybe just adding in a snack or two. Or, I may or may not be indulging in some of my lactation cookies. I still meal prep for lunch and dinner. I’m still making very healthy choices.

My weight has stayed the same for the most part since I stopped counting calories. I’m not sure if I ever put my stats out there, and I’m too lazy to go back and check, so, around 3 months PP, I was 189lbs and 30.6% body fat. Whenever I started being very religious about counting my calories, I lost weight pretty quick and lingered around 184lbs and 29.1% body fat. The lowest I have been is 182.0lbs and 29.0% body fat. I’m not terribly happy about this, but, I just can’t care about that right now. I really do get compliments all the time that I look leaner and skinnier, but I just don’t feel it. All of my clothes still fit the same. I do feel a lot more muscular in my arms and legs, but my midsection is remaining the same.

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More like 37 pound weight gain…

I am super envious of all my friends that were able to eat whatever they wanted and breastfeed, and they just watched the weight fall off. This was not the case with Raelynn, and it appears Briar is going to follow suit. My prepregnancy weight was like 173lbs….so around 10-12 lbs left to go. I can assure you that will not happen anytime soon.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

Pumping…Success??? WHAT??

I may or may not be having some pumping success now…a whole 2 weeks later…

I FINALLY took the plunge and started waking up at 5 a.m. during the week to add in an extra pump. Now, this is what my day looks like:

5:00 a.m.- wake and pump

8:00 a.m. – pump

10:30 a.m. – pump

1:30 p.m. – pump

4:00 p.m. – pump

7:00 p.m. – nurse

8:30 p.m. – pump

6 pumps to make 24 ounces. It took a lot of freaking work. I am scared to even say this because I’m sure the pumping gods are looking down on me just waiting to give me another set-back, but I am actually a little ahead. I haven’t counted, because I’m scared. I’m scared to get excited, and I’m scared to set an expectation for myself, but as of right now, I may or may not have 3 full bottles of milk in the fridge that are 100% extra. So, for the moment…I am going to just let it stay cold in the fridge and I’m not going to count it. I’m scared to freeze it because then it’s like, “Oh hey, you have extra milk, GREAT. Now, cue the 24 ounces of spilled milk again since you have extra”. I’m just WAITING for that moment.

On the weekends, I do not wake up early. I sleep in a little and wait for Briar to get up between 6:30a.m. and 7:00a.m.. After she eats, then I pump. I yield anywhere from 4-6 ounces. That milk is pure extra milk. I nurse on demand on Saturday and Sunday; ranges anywhere from 2-4 hours between feedings. And then I pump again at 8:30 p.m. Again, the pump at 8:30 p.m. is solely extra milk. So, I have been doing this schedule for about 2 weeks, hence where I think the extra milk is S L O W L Y starting to make it’s way into my refrigerator and hopefully freezer…soon 🙂

So, what do I think the biggest factor was that helped? POWER PUMPING. 10000%. For an entire week straight, I power pumped at almost all of my pumping sessions. It fucking sucked. It was not fun. I felt like I could not focus on anything else except pumping. BUT, I’m lucky enough to work in a small company that allows me to basically do whatever I need. I have my own office, so I’m able to shut the door, pump, and still continue to work. I know I am a small percentage of women that is actually able to do this, which is why I’m forever grateful.

THIS…… —-> Power Pumping Guide THIS is the best thing ever. I had only ever read about one way to power pump, but this guide is BEYOND helpful. It explains all of the different ways that you can power pump. It’s pretty amazing actually. For the most part I used the pump 20, rest 10, pump 10, rest 10, pump 10; but I also used pump 10, rest 10, pump 10; when I didn’t have an entire hour to dedicate. And it truly did work. After about a week of doing this, I went back to pumping between 20-30 minutes (it takes me a long time to completely empty), and my supply was up. I couldn’t believe it.

Along with the power pumping, I have still been taking the “Let There Be Milk” supplement and I truly think that helps to maintain my milk supply. I also found a pretty good smoothie recipe that isn’t terrible for you. AND, the main plus (from a healthy standpoint) you get WAY less sugar than you do if you make and consume the cookies. Also you get as much brewers yeast in the smoothie as you would by eating a dozen or so cookies :/. I mean, I know, I like eating cookies too, but my sometimes my waistline does not appreciate it. In the recipe below, I up the brewer’s yeast to 2 TBSP, and the oats to a 1/2 cup.

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I also still eat oatmeal EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I can’t wait to not eat oatmeal anymore. I’ve also read some things about a drink called Body Armor. I have drank it a few times, but not consistently enough to see a change. I might have to test this one out.

I am still contemplating what to do for milk for our trip to Vegas. At this point, I am really unsure of how much milk I am going to have. As I’ve said a million times, I have about 100 ounces frozen, but with dairy. And it appears that I might slowly be able to start building somewhat of a dairy free freezer stash. I plan on reintroducing dairy into my diet soon to see how she takes it. If I was not going to Vegas, then I wouldn’t even care to reintroduce it to me, but at this point, I just want to be able to go to Vegas and have fun and not have to look up an allergen menu at every single restaurant that we go to. It could be a real game changer if she has outgrown her sensitivity. But, I’m not getting my hopes up. I have already decided that I’m not going to put her on formula for the one week that we are gone. In my opinion, that’s pointless and it would probably upset her stomach more than anything. The last option is getting milk from a milk bank. Then the issue becomes, you told me you were dairy free, but are you REALLY dairy free? It just makes me nervous. I’m also hoping she starts to take less as she gets older and starts to intake more solids. She will be 10 1/2 months when we leave. I basically have 3 months to build some type of stash. I know it’s doable. And I really want to be able to do it. Fingers Crossed!

I hate to even say this, but I will really be glad when I am done breastfeeding. It’s just a completely different experience this time around. Being dairy free, having to rent my pump and pay monthly, paying for supplements, pumping around the clock, always worrying if I have enough milk. It’s just really, really exhausting. Briar turned 6 months on July 22 and I told Scott to remind me every day that it’s all downhill from here. I just need that reminder that I’m on a downward slope so I will keep on pushing. It’s hard work, and it is 100% worth it, but I’m just ready to be done.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma