Goodbye 2017…Hello 2018

I want to finish this year positive and strong. **(As I sit here with my tater tots and fried chicken)**

I NEVER make resolutions. In my opinion, they are stupid. Why do I want to set myself up for failure? I feel like everyone makes goals/resolutions and then every year the same goals/resolutions are set. It’s like you are setting yourself up for recurring failure? Why? I don’t want to put myself through that.

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So, here I am…setting fucking new year’s resolutions for 2018. I’m writing them out to hold me accountable. If at some point, I ever feel that I break them, I will be the first to let you know 🙂

If you read my last post, I posted an article that just really hit home for me and affected me positively. I will say that it somewhat lit a fire under my ass.

Here is the article:

You Are The Reason Your Life Sucks

In summary, do something about your life if it sucks. Make changes to your life to make your life better. If you act positive and think positive, your life will be positive. If you act negative and think negative, guess what…your life will be negative.

So, here are my resolutions for 2018:

  1. I want to be less negative. I think I have made major improvements over the years, but I’m still not where I need to be. Somedays, I think my life is shit. And I need to realize that some people would kill for my life. I have a husband that loves me, 2 beautiful, healthy girls, a great job to support my family. There is really nothing to be negative about. Yes, we all have bad days, but I do not want to dwell on them. I do not want to let the bad days take away from my great life. I am such a pessimistic in general. I’m going to try really hard this year to be more positive and optimistic.
  2. This is one that is hard for me to admit. I want to be less judgemental and participate in less gossip. I am probably one of the most open minded people ever, but I will silently judge people and situations. Why? Why waste my energy on it? What’s the point? Is it helping me? No, it’s taking up energy that could be better spent somewhere else. The gossiping part will be hard. It’s what us girls do! We get together, we drink a little, then we start letting the bullshit flow. Bitch sessions! Man, I love a good bitch session! And I think they are good for the soul, to a certain extent! If I had a shitty day at work, I just want to vent about it. What I do not want to participate in, is talking shit about people. Look, I know people talk shit about me and vice versa, I talk shit about people. I just need to do it less. Period. It all circles back to being less negative.
  3. I have some negative people in my life that I want to distance myself from. These negative people just make me feel guilty about things that I shouldn’t feel guilty about. They are dramatic about everything. They are constantly in a bad mood. They do NOTHING to improve their quality of life so they drag people down with them. I know I am destined to do great things. Currently, my life is great, but I know my full potential hasn’t been reached yet. I do not want to be around negative people that will deter me from my goals of being great and doing great things.

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I feel like I am setting the bar pretty high for myself, but I have to. I want to. I am a role model to two little girls that mean the world to me. I want them to be successful in life no matter what they chose. I feel like I have to give them a good foundation to start their lives so they can mold the rest of it based on their individual desires. If I am negative all the time…what does that teach them? I just want to be a good and influential mother to my kids. I want them to lead a happy and positive life. And I think that starts with a happy and positive mom.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

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Something Out of the Ordinary…

I’ve tried to write this post a couple of times and I end up backspacing everything or just deleting the whole damn post. I think because it’s something out of the ordinary. You know, I normally post about my crazy life, my crazy kids, my crazy self. I feel like I’m allowed to talk about those things and say whatever I want because it’s my life.

I want to talk about other people’s lives. My friend’s lives.

So…here goes…

My friend group is huge. Some of us have been friends since elementary school and middle school, but we have all been friends since high school. I love it. We’ve experienced so many things together. In the past 10-15 years we have went through some monumental shit. We graduated high school. Some moved away for college, some stayed here. The majority of us graduated college around the same time. The ones that moved away came back and it was like we never missed a beat. Regardless, we would go visit them at college, so it wasn’t like we didn’t see them for 4 years. Anyways…we watched our friends get engaged, we were all apart of everyone’s marriages, we bought houses and apartments, we were all there whenever everyone had their first kid and second kid…and now…we get to go through another milestone in life. Unfortunately, it’s not a pleasant one. It’s divorce. I never thought divorce would happen. I guess I lived in a fairy tale world, or wanted to anyways. I wanted all my friends to stay together forever. Statistically, I should have known that wouldn’t be the case.

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In 2017, 2 couples got a divorce. And I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t drawn a line in the sand between my friends.

To make a very long story short….I have been friends with both of the girls since elementary school. We had moments where we were good friends, and we had moments where we didn’t talk for literally 3-5 years. Nothing bad happened to make us not talk. Life happened. And then we would reconnect and it was like we never missed a beat. I wish more people realize that friendship works this way. You don’t have to be in constant contact with someone and know every little detail of everyone’s life in order to be friends. To me, these girls are still my friends, and they will always remain my friends. They married guys that went to school with all of us. So everyone knew everyone. I was friends with both of the guys as well. More so one than the other, but that doesn’t really make a difference.

For one couple, they grew apart over time and stopped trying. My girlfriend personally told me she stopped trying because she was done with it. It just wasn’t working out for multiple reasons.

For the other couple, they split, in my opinion for a multitude of reasons, but the tipping point for them, was my girlfriend started seeing someone else.

Divorce is hard for people to comprehend. Infidelity is hard for people to comprehend. Just simply growing apart is hard for people to understand. But no one owes me or anyone any explanation. It’s their life and they can do what they please with it. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them.

I actually ended up talking to my therapist about this because it bothered me so bad. For one, I still couldn’t believe my friends were going through this. I hated it for both sides, the guys and the girls. For two, I hated that this caused a divide in our group of friends. I told my therapist that a lot of people were really having an issue with couple 2 because, he was such a good guy. “How could she cheat on him when he was such a good guy?” He truly is one of the best guys ever. He would give a stranger the shirt of his back. He would give a stranger $100,000 if he had it. So, why would she do this to him? My friends just could not understand it.

Not that I needed the therapist to solidify anything for me but she basically told me that when she sees infidelity in any relationship, there is normally an event or a number of events that leads up to it. Very rarely does it happen, “just because”. Does this mean the guy wasn’t really a good guy? Nope. It just meant that I wasn’t married to him and I have no idea what type of husband he was. It means that I was not a part of their marriage, therefore I have no right to make assumptions. It means that they were not right for each other, so they got a divorce in order for everyone to be happy. Initially, I would assume that everyone was sad and couldn’t believe divorce was happening to them. But I would also assume, that it happened for a reason unbeknownst to me and my friends now seem happy. And to me, that’s all that really matters.

I’m not making excuses for anyone. Do I agree with infidelity? Nope. But, does my girlfriend need me or anyone to tell her that we don’t agree with her decisions? Nope. How do people just grow apart? How do people just stop trying in their relationship? It’s human nature. It just happens.  Guess what, we’ve all fucked up one way or another…We are all adults…and no one is perfect.

I read an article today that prompted this post. If you don’t feel like reading it, I’ll sum it up. Basically if you are not happy and you are not doing anything about it, it’s your own damn fault. Divorce may not make sense to anyone right now, especially to us that are happy in relationships and ESPECIALLY to us that have divorced parents. We see how negative divorce can be. All four of my friends have moved on now. And they are seemingly happy. The majority have already moved on and have another partner. Good for them, the guys and the girls. No one deserves to be unhappy and alone. These divorces are very fresh and it’s hard for people to comprehend them, but in even 1 year, will anyone be concerned with this? I sure as hell hope not.

You Are The Reason Your Life Sucks

I’m making resolutions this year. I never do this. And it will be based on this article because it had a real effect on me…

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

 

11 months…

Briar is almost 1 year old. I cannot believe that she will be one year old in less than a month. Time flies.

She is starting to take a couple of steps which I am so happy about. I am ready for her to walk and be mobile. She is definitely a momma’s girl for the moment. I remember Raelynn being like this too because of breastfeeding. I am feeling so touched out at this point. Briar literally wants to hang on me constantly or wants me to hold her all the time. She very rarely wants Scott. Just me. It just makes me want to be done with breastfeeding even more so I can get a break from her.

Breastfeeding is going okay for the most part. As stated in one of my prior posts, Vegas completely ruined my supply. The very next week after Vegas, I went on a business trip. On my trip, my pumping still wasn’t consistent and guess what else…I started my freaking period. Full on, hardcore, period. TMI, I know, but shit…I was so pissed. I hadn’t had my period in a little over a year and half, so as you can imagine, I was not prepared for this.

Back to breastfeeding….I currently do not make what she needs day to day, but I have extra from Vegas so I’m using that for the moment. She has recently went from 24 ounces a day to 20 ounces a day. It may not seem like a lot, but it helps me tremendously. Also, on weekends, she only nurses about every 4 hours or around 4 times per day. She has really picked up eating real food. I love and hate this.

I’m sure I’ve probably mentioned it before, but Raelynn has pretty bad constipation problems. She is on Miralax every single day. I hate it, but it makes her go. Briar is way worse that Raelynn. Briar eats so much real food and then she gets backed up. Her stomach gets so hard and then she doesn’t want to eat anything because she’s full. So, I have to put Vaseline on a Q-Tip and stick it up there and swirl it around (I hope you enjoy this visual) so she will go. And when it comes out, it looks like adult poop. And she bleeds so bad. It makes me so sad. We give her prunes everyday. Sometimes a double dose. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes it doesn’t which is frustrating. For the most part, she eats natural, healthy food. She eats whatever we eat and she always eats a ton of fruits and vegetables. Just recently, I have started Raelynn and Briar on a probiotic in hopes that it will help. I think it may be helping Raelynn, but I’m unsure about Briar. I will keep on and see if it makes a difference.

Raelynn is wonderful, as always. There is nothing really new to report with her. She is the same ol’ rambunctious 3 year old. She is for sure Scott’s girl.

We recently celebrated Christmas (more discussion in another post)…but we brought out the infamous “Elf on a Shelf”. I was initially dreading this, but it turned out to be really fun for everyone. We did not do anything over the top. For the most part, we just moved it to a different spot every day. I didn’t want her to expect extravagant things every single day because I did not want to do extravagant things every single day. I was very surprised that I did move it every day. Whenever Raelynn woke up it was the first thing she wanted to do…”LET’S GO FIND SPARKLE!!!!” I’ll never forget the first day we brought it out, we read her the book and explained how it would work. It was a weekend. She got up the next morning and instantly asked where Sparkle was. I literally left the damn thing in the box. First damn night. Here are a couple of “extravagant” things we did:

Welp – almost a month and a half not blogging and y’all see how boring my life is LOL.

Until next time…

 

–The Kentucky Momma