Remember how I was sick last week? You know, just the typical allergies? Well they ended up kicking my ass. I ended up taking medicine it got so bad. I consulted with the doctor first to see what was safe and she recommended Zyrtec. So that’s what I went with in hopes it would clear me up.
On top of the Zyrtec, I had to take benadryl two or three nights in a row because I could not sleep at all due to my cough. For those night, I also staked out in the recliner because I could not lay down on my side or my back at all in bed.
Because of all this, I just felt like shit in general.
Then it all got worse.
I was coughing so much that I had to wear a pad because every time I coughed, I peed everywhere. And not just a little. A lot. Nothing was helping my cough at all. I went through at least two bags of cough drops.
I made the mistake of telling Raelynn that every time I coughed, I peed. She enjoyed sharing that information with several people.
Then it all got worse, again.
I pulled a rib muscle from coughing so much and so hard. OMG, it was the most terrible paid ever. I googled every possible remedy to help. From what I read, there was absolutley nothing you could do to really help. It just took time.
Time was not exactly what I had. I was 37 weeks pregnant. I couldn’t even imagine trying to push out a baby with this type of pain.
It hurt to cough.
It hurt to laugh.
It hurt to move.
I had convinced myself that I was doomed.
This pain was never going to go away by the time I had the baby.
I was icing it multiple times a day and putting biofreeze on it. Over time, I think it helped. It just wasn’t fast enough for my impatient ass.
Not solely because of this, but in large part because of this, I made the decision to stop CrossFitting for the remainder of my pregnancy.
I cried the moment I said that out loud.
I had been talking with Scott about it in the previous weeks. I just told him I felt that I was going to have to stop. Jolee is just sitting so high, much higher than any of my previous pregnancies. It makes me not be able to breathe. Literally the only time I am comfortable is when I’m sitting in the recliner at home.
So, I stopped CrossFitting in Week 36 of my pregnancy.
And I honestly feel like a total failure.
I realize that I shouldn’t. But, I know what my body is capable of. I worked out up until 5 days before I had Briar. And to stop so abruptly this time…it just didn’t make sense to me.
This pregnancy has just been so fucking hard on my body.
In turn, it makes me hard on myself.
I keep telling myself that I am going to have her next week, so it’s not that big of deal anyways, right?
But what if I don’t have her next week? What if I have her 4 weeks after I stopped working out? Then I am going to be out for much, much longer than 6 weeks.
Why does this even matter?
I just really worry about my mental stability in the absence of CrossFit.
The end of pregnancy is already hard with carrying around the extra weight, your hormones running crazy…
Working out just makes sense. It just helps me so much.
