I am about to share some really personal stuff with y’all in regards to my relationship with my husband.
I have fought with myself for months on if I should share this or not.
Does anyone really WANT to read about my relationship?
Will people think I’m crazy?
Will people think Scott is a bad person?
How will I, he, we, be portrayed after this information is out in the world?
This isn’t the first nor will it be the last time that I have spoke about our relationship in terms of struggling to make it work.
It is, however, the first time you will see the words separation and divorce mentioned.
Those words are heavy and carry a lot of meaning with them and it’s something that Scott and I do not take lightly. But it’s something that has unfortunately crept it’s way into MY, not OUR, but MY vocabulary.
For the record, it’s nothing super terrible. I think the first thing people think of when those see those words is infidelity. And I can assure you infidelity is not that cause of our issues, and for that, I am grateful. Scott and I just have a lot of ups and downs when it comes to being a cohesive unit. To be down right honest, we struggle with it really bad.
We do NOT have our shit together.
And we are the last people to claim to have our shit together. We are not the perfect couple you see on Instagram or Facebook. And we never will be. And we are both okay with that.
We are straight up messy. And we work through our messy shit on a daily basis.
There are 4 total posts in relation to Week 23; the preface, part 1, part 2, and part 3.
Part 1 was written 100% in the moment of being pissed off.
Part 2 was written after Scott and I finally had a somewhat civil discussion.
Part 3 was written after I spoke with my therapist about our situation.
I feel like this is important. They are all different aspects on essentially the same issue and argument and they all have different, but very necessary perspectives on the same argument.
Again, I ask myself the question…Should I really post this and give people a look into a very intimate part of my life?
I don’t think it’s a black and white answer.
I think some people will think very terrible things about me or Scott or us. Maybe that I really am crazy or maybe that Scott is an asshole or maybe question our marriage. And that’s fine. You have your right to your own opinion. But, I also think there is a couple out there struggling with something similar that may need to hear they are not alone in this fight.
I’m not here to debate why separation or divorce is right or wrong. I think the only people that can decide that are the two people participating in their marriage. No marriage is the same. Every marriage has different issues. And I’m only here to talk about my marriage and my struggles, because it’s the only marriage I ever want to have and fight for.
