My little, Raelynn. She turns 3 years old today.
T H R E E.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
My sweet little girl. I was so excited to share Briar’s birth story and as I went back and looked at old posts, I realize, you never got to hear Raelynn’s story. So, here it goes…
When you water breaks, I think everyone has a misconception. You relate it to the movies when fluid is pouring out of your uterus. That just wasn’t the case whenever Raelynn decided she wanted to make her appearance.
I was 38 weeks and 3 days. 11 days before my due date. I had zero signs of labor. I was just uncomfortable. You know, because I was the size of a whale. At this point, I wasn’t sleeping well. Tossing and turning to try and find that right position. This was every single night pretty much. I felt like I never really fell into a deep sleep.
However, on August 23, 2014, around 3:00a.m. something else happened. I was half asleep/half awake, tossing and turning, and I heard and felt a pop. It was like a pop in my butt. I thought it was weird, but no pain. Then I had a flashback of a conversation that my mom had told me several times, “Whenever my water broke with Keisha, it felt like a water balloon popping.”
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME AND IT WAS THE PERFECT DESCRIPTION. IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE A WATER BALLOON POPPED IN MY ASS. WELL, IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF MY ASS.
I calmly got up and went to the bathroom. No fluid was pouring out of my uterus. But, I knew something wasn’t right. With no real proof that I was in labor, I laid back down in the bed. Then, I felt a trickle of fluid. I kept telling myself it was just discharge. But I kept feeling it. So, I got up again, being so careful not to wake Scott up, and checked myself. I mean, there was a presence of fluid. But, was this really my water? I wasn’t in any pain, I wasn’t having any contractions. I felt like I really didn’t know if I was in labor or not. It was so confusing.
I was about 80% sure that the pop I heard and felt was my water, so I decided to wake Scott up and tell him. He popped up in bed and said, “Are you sure you didn’t piss yourself?” He would say some dumb shit like that. I tried to call my doctor, but we had a pretty bad storm overnight and their phone lines happened to be down, so I called the hospital. They told me that I should probably come in. So, that’s what we did, but at a very slow pace. I had read several articles that said to take a shower and eat food if you can before you do into the hospital because you never know how long labor can be and you never know how long it will be until you can do both of those things again. So, I took a nice long, hot shower, blow dried my hair, finished packing the hospital bags. I told Scott I wanted to stop by McDonalds on the way there. I wanted something to fill me up because I had no idea when I was going to be able to eat again. All of this took about 2 hours. I did start having contractions. But, zero pain. And they were like 10-15 minutes apart. Nothing consistant at all.
By the time we got to the hospital, it was about 5:00 a.m. They immediately took me to a triage room and checked to see if my water really had broke. And it did. I was 3 cm. I got a little nervous at that point because they want you to have your baby within 24 hours of your water breaking, so I knew that Raelynn was going to be here within 24 hours or less. I just wanted everything to go as planned.
What was my plan? Get that fucking epidural and be in lala land until I had her. And I wanted to have her vaginally. That was the only thing I had planned for.
Other plans were in store for me though.
I got into my actual room around 7:00 a.m. Still no real pain. Contractions had picked up a little bit, but nothing crazy. Since my water had broke at 3:00 a.m. and my contractions weren’t really picking up, they told me they were going to start me on pitocin. They did this around 8:00 a.m.I knew what pitocin was, but I did not know that it was the devil. It literally brought the devil out in me. I felt like an exorcism needed to take place when that shit kicked in. So, the pitocin started around 8:00 a.m. They told me when I started to show some progress (dilating more), they would give me the epidural. I was just obvlious to all the shit that was about to take place.
The pitocin started out pretty slow. I could feel my contractions getting stronger and closer together, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.
Things start to get a little fuzzy around the 9:00 a.m. – 10:30 a.m. mark. I remember it all just kicked in at once. I was in an unbearable amount of pain. The contractions were taking over my body. No position felt good. I was on the bed, laying on back. I tried to turn to my side and nothing was making it better. I was crying. I started paging the nurse to get someone in here to give me the epidural. The nurse came in and she was an absolute bitch. She had been a bitch the whole time. She told me she needed to check me and see how dilated I was. I get that some people can be dramatic with pain, but fuck. I felt like I was dying. Surely you can see that I need this epidural. So, she attempted to check me and see if I had made any progress. I swear to god she stuck her entire fist up there. It hurt so bad, she ran me up the bed and I hit my head on the wall trying to get away from her. From there, my experience went completely downhill.
She told me that since I was not cooperating, she could not tell if I had progressed any, therefore, she could not get me orders for an epidural. If I’ve ever came close to punching someone in the face, it was in that moment. My pain was very obvious. And you are telling me the one thing that can take it all away, I can’t have. And she walked out of the room. I lost it. I cried uncontrollably. I was in so much pain. I have no idea how much time actually passed, I just know there is about 1 1/2 hours unaccounted for.
Around 10:30 a.m., the doctor who would deliver Raelynn came into the room. She wanted to know what the current situation was. DO YOU NOT SEE ME?!? I told her all of the preceding events. I pleaded for the epidural. PLEADEDDDDDD. She said she was going to check me. She looked at me in surprise and said I was 8 cm dilated. She then broke the news to me that it was too late for me to get an epidural and I was going to have Raelynn naturally.
Uhhh…..EXCUSE ME, WHAT?
No, bitch. That was not the plan.
I looked at Scott in utter disbelief that I was about to push a child out of my vagina with no medication. Zero. I literally had no words. I just couldn’t believe this was about to happen.
I honestly don’t remember if she left the room or got dressed in the room, but she checked me again at 10:45a.m. and said that I was at 10 cm, so it was time to start pushing. I didn’t actually start pushing until closer to 11:00.am.
I was 0% prepared for an unmedicated, natural birth. I had no idea what to do.
I put my legs in the stirups and she told me that whenever I had a contraction, to start pushing. I pushed for 21 minutes. And there she was. When she came out, my contractions stopped. And I was on an adrenaline high. It was a very euphoric feeling to have a baby naturally. I remember all I cared about was that she was out and my contractions were gone.
Raelynn Monroe Tower. 7.8lbs. 21 inches. 8/23/14. 11:21a.m.
And now here we are, 3 entire years later. The joy she has given Scott and I is unbelievable. She is so smart. She is such a good big sister. She makes me smile every time I am around her. It is such a blessing to be her mommy.
Now I’m going to go cry for the rest of the day.
–The Kentucky Momma