It’s April.
I feel like this could potentially be the month that Jolee is born.
This makes me happy and also makes me anxious as hell.
Overall, I will be happy to not be pregnant anymore.
But lately, I have been straight up scared to death of labor.
I know I have been through it twice, but I think at this point, I just know exactly what to expect.
As you have probably gathered at this point, I am a control freak. And clearly, labor and birth, for the most part, cannot be controlled.
I want to have a natural, unmedicated labor again, if possible. But, given my experience with Raelynn, I am keeping all of my options open. To be completely honest, I am not so sure if I am scared of labor, or if I am scared of not knowing exactly when I will go into labor.
My hope is that when I go into labor, I will just get in the zone and let my body do what it needs to do and Jolee gets here fast and easy.
I’ve also been scared that I will have a long labor. I have been blessed to have two fairly quick labors with Raelynn and Briar, but I’ve been reading stories of how your third can be longer…
On the flip side, what if it’s even shorter than Briar’s? She could be born at home or in the car on the way to the hospital.
Thinking about going into labor is literally keeping me up in the middle of the night.
I will wake up in the middle of the night and think all of the thoughts and then be exhausted the next day for not getting enough sleep and my brain running at 100 mph in the middle of the night. It’s torture.
I reached out to my close friend, Jaimie, who helped me through my last unmedicated birth and I explained my fears and thoughts to her. She told me to visualize how I want my labor and birth to go while I’m not in an anxious state. I’ve been trying to do this as well as re-read some positive things that helped me last time.
My fears were heightened this week because on Monday of this week because I started having contractions.
I was at work, it was after lunch, and I just started to feel a little uncomfortable. Not long after that, I started to have contractions. They didn’t hurt. They were not consistent. But they were very present.
Some would be 10-15 minutes apart, while others would be 45 minutes apart. I was 35 weeks at this point. I knew they wouldn’t stop my labor, but I also wasn’t ready for her to be here yet. I knew there was nothing I could do, so I just let them happen. I text Scott and told him what was going on. I told him whenever I got off work and home for the evening, I just wanted to sit in the bath for a while and then go straight to the recliner and put my feet up. He was all for it. I don’t think he wanted Jolee to come this early either.
They continued for the remainder of the work day. I got home, took my bath, then I got the heating pad and put it on a low setting and put it on my stomach and reclined back in my recliner. I think my stomach was sore from contracting all day, but again, my contractions weren’t painful.
So, I sat there for the night, being completely useless, yet again.
I want to say around 8:00 p.m. was the last time I had a contraction.
And that was it. No more for the rest of the week. I had never experienced this in prior pregnancies, so I was just overall really scared and hoping she would stick around in a belly just a little bit longer.
So far, she seems to be obeying my rules 🙂
Tuesday, April 2
Strength
Snatch
2×2 @ 40% = 40#
1×2 @ 50% = 50#
1×2 @ 60% = 60#
1×2 @ 70% = 70#
4×2 @ 75% = 75#
Luckily, I suck at snatches and my max is super low, so my percentages are low. All done from the hang.
Metcon
8 rounds
6 DB snatch 20#
6 shuttle runs
20 mountain climbers
1 min rest
I modified this to only 6 rounds. I only did 1 shuttle run, and then I did step ups onto a box instead of mountain climbers. I can no longer do mountain climbers because my stomach is coning.
Friday, April 5
Strength
Bench Press
1×4 @ 50%
1×4 @ 60%
1×4 @ 70%
5×4 @ 80%
Metcon
3 rounds
3 min AMRAP
5 ring rows
10 step ups
10 cal row
1 min rest
