It’s the day of the anatomy scan. I can’t believe it’s already here.
The night/morning of, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turn all night until I eventually just got on my phone and tried to scroll myself through social media back to sleep. It didn’t work.
My brain was processing life at 2:30 a.m.
It stopped processing life at around 5:00 a.m. and I fell asleep. Just in time for my alarm to wake me up at 5:30 a.m. Cool. I was going to be exhausted for the rest of the day.
My appointment wasn’t until 1:00 p.m. I thought work was going to go by so slow. But it actually went by surprisingly fast. I was happy for that. I practically ran out of the doors around 12:30 p.m. to go to my appointment.
Whenever I walked into the doctor’s office, Scott was already there. We only waited for about 5 minutes until the ultrasound tech called me back. She smiled and said, “I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that we know each other on a first name basis.” I laughed and agreed.
Finally, the moment of truth was here.
I got myself situated on the bed and grabbed Scott’s hand. He gave it a small squeeze back basically implementing that everything was going to be okay.
I knew there was a baby. I didn’t need the ultrasound tech to tell me that. I had just felt it not too long before we were in there.
What I did need validated was it has 2 legs, and 2 arms, and 10 fingers, and 10 toes, a beating heart, you know, the essentials. I took a deep breath as she put the cold gel on my stomach and looked towards the screen as she began her journey to see my baby.
I shit you not, when she put the wand to my stomach, the baby was looking right at us.
And it looked pissed the fuck off. Like, real fucking pissed.
Scott and I laughed because it looked so weird, and it was just hilarious that it was staring right at us. We were expecting a profile view, but we got the full frontal of the face. I couldn’t take it.
She continued to maneuver around and I was just in awe that the baby had 2 legs, and 2 arms, and 10 fingers, and 10 toes, and a beating heart. I just could not believe it. I was so happy. She continued to show us the umbilical cord, the stomach, the kidneys, basically things that all looked like whitish areas on the screen that I had no idea what they were. I was already so happy and so relieved.
Then she asked the famous question…
“Do y’all want to know the sex?”
Without hesitation, Scott and I both answered, “Yes!”
She asked what we had at home already and I told her two girls. Scott instantly said, “I already know it’s another girl. I need a man cave.” Everyone laughed.
I 100% wanted a healthy baby. Given all of the struggles that I had been through, I did not think that I had the right to “chose” a sex that I preferred. I was forever grateful for this opportunity to carry another child.
BUT…
If I’m being honest…
I really wanted another girl.
I can’t explain why. Because given all of the struggles that I’ve had and we’ve had, I make it out to be like girls are really hard. Well, at least my girls are in the beginning. But, I just wanted another girl. I knew that if I found out I was having a boy, I would honestly be a little disappointed, but whenever I birthed that baby, I would fall in love.
The ultrasound tech proceeded to go to the nether regions to find out the sex. I could tell right away what it was.
I looked at Scott and said, “Well, it appears we are having another girl!”
The ultrasound tech confirmed.
Scott and I just laughed and laughed because we were expecting this.
We no longer had an “it” growing inside me. We had a girl!
I was so happy.
Even though I got what I wanted, I was still reserved in my happiness because we still needed to talk with the doctor after she read the ultrasounds to ensure everything was really, really okay.
I’ve always wished the doctors were in the room with you while the ultrasound was being done so they could basically tell you right away if they thought something was wrong. Instead, I feel like you get all excited, and then they crush your dreams. I’ve had this happen on more than one occasion. Not during an anatomy scan, but during early ultrasounds.
We were put in a room and waited only about 10 minutes before the doctor came in.
She asked the normal questions, “How are you feeling?” “Have you had any spotting?” “Have you had any leaky fluids?” to which I replied, “Fine” “No” and “No”. I wanted to get on with the results of the anatomy scan.
The doctor said, “Well, I’ve reviewed your ultrasound results, and everything looks good!”
This. This is the real moment that I’ve been waiting for.
This was my sigh of relief moment.
This was my moment to finally connect with this pregnancy.
This was the moment where I could actually get the 2,000 pound elephant off my chest and breathe in deep and cherish this moment that we really do have a healthy growing GIRL.
It was overwhelming and emotional and although I didn’t cry, which I was very surprised about, there were definitely tears welling up in my eyeballs.
Tears of joy and happiness and relief.
Now I was excited.
Scott and I both took the rest of the day off work. We just went home and relaxed on the couch until we had to go get the girls from daycare. During this time, we decided that we were not going to tell anyone that day. It was so nice and refreshing to keep this to ourselves, even if for only one day. I told him that some of my friends for sure knew that we were going to the doctor that day so they would be asking. And sure enough, they did!
I ignored them. In today’s world, you don’t get to keep secrets of any kind. Scott and I wanted to keep this to ourselves, even if it was less than 24 hours. It felt good. It wasn’t to be mean or deceiving, but it was mine and Scott’s secret to have.
The only people we told the day of was Raelynn and Briar.
We knew we would have to tell people quick after that because Raelynn is a talker!
Briar is too little to really grasp what is going on. I remember when I was pregnant with Briar, Raelynn was the same way. But, this time around, Raelynn totally understands everything. She knew I was going to the doctor that day to find out if they were having a little sister or a little brother.
Throughout my pregnancy thus far, Raelynn has went back and forth on what she wanted.
For a long time she wanted a brother, then she wanted BOTH…uh, NO, BYE GIRL…then for the past maybe 4-6 weeks, she’s been dead set on a sister.
When I picked them up from daycare that day, Raelynn was already asking me over and over what was she getting? A brother? Or a sister? I told her that we had to wait to get home so Scott and I could both tell them.
In a soft and kind of sad voice, she said, “I already know it’s a brother. I just know it.”
I laughed and asked her, “Well, what if it is? Are you okay with that? Will you still love him.” In the same, soft, sad little voice, she said, “Yesssss…..” I just laughed.
When we got home, I took out the ultrasound pictures and showed her and Briar. Briar was so oblivious to the whole situation. Raelynn was interested in the face, and the feet, and the hand, but she freaking wanted to know if she was having a little sister or little brother.
I told her she was having another sister and she screeched for joy. She was ecstatic. It was so sweet.
I told Briar she was having a little sister and she just kept saying “NO!” over and over and over.
I still cannot believe we are having another girl. It literally blows my mind every second of every day that we are going to have 3 beautiful healthy girls. I am so excited to see what they become in life. I am so excited to see their bond. It’s truly a blessed that I will never take for granted.
Monday December 17
Strength
Power Clean + Front Squat + Clean
1x(2+1+1) @ 45%
1x(2+1+1) @ 55%
1x(2+1+1) @ 65%
1x(2+1+1) @ 75%
4x(1+1) @ 80%
Feeling really good. Was able to complete at actual percentages.
Metcon
6 rounds
1:30 AMRAP
7 burpee box jump overs
5 c2b pull-ups
1:30 rest
Modified chest to bars to assisted pull ups.
Friday December 21
Strength
Back Squat
1×5 @ 50%
1×5 @ 55%
1×3 @ 60%
2×3 @ 65%
2×3 @ 70%
Even though this was lighter weights, the high reps were not fun on my back. Still completed at actual percentages.
Metcon
18 min AMRAP
500m row
20 med ball sit ups
10 TTB
5 front rack lunges 75/55
Modified the sit ups to 20 mountain climbers, TTB to knees above waist. The front rack lunges are killer as always.
