I’M PREGNANT.
For the 6th time.
And I also think I’m miscarrying.
For the 4th time.
Jesus, y’all.
I just don’t even know where to start.
This was, yet, another unexpected pregnancy.
I had a feeling I was pregnant. I can’t explain, it was just a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I went to Rite-Aid on my lunch and bought a 3 pack of pregnancy tests. I took a test as soon as I got back to work on August 21, and it was a big, fat negative.
I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or sad? Confused, maybe?
A couple of days later, I started spotting. This whole year, my period has been really weird. I would spot for a couple of days, and then I would start my period.
I waited…but my period never started.
OKAY…
On Tuesday, August 28, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that I was pregnant. I debated on going to get MORE pregnancy tests, but I knew I had 2 more at home. Jesus, this was going to be a long day.
As soon as I got home that day, I literally ran to the bathroom, ripped open a pregnancy test, and peed on it.
Instantly it was positive.
SHIT.
I could not believe what I was seeing.
I laughed. A lot. I could not believe we were in this situation again. I couldn’t help but laugh. Scott was going to be less than amused…
I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where Scott was. It was a soccer night, so he was busy trying to get the kids dinner ready so they could eat before we had to leave.
“Scott, look at me, I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS? DID YOU TAKE A TEST?”
“Yep.”
……
He wasn’t mad, but I can’t say he was elated either.
And I was just confused.
Another child was all I wanted. But it was difficult, because I knew this was probably going to end in a miscarriage.
Earlier this year I had my 3rd miscarriage. Shortly after, I was diagnosed with a bicornuate uterus with a large septum. Basically, my uterus is split in half. With this condition, it makes it very difficult to carry a baby full term. If the baby implants on the septum, it can cause huge issues, lack of blood flow, lack of general nutrition, aka miscarriage. You want the baby to implant on the actual uterus, not the septum.
We “what-if’d” all night basically. Scott was even optimistic and said maybe my uterus had healed itself. I knew that wasn’t possible, but it was nice to see some positivity from him.
I went to the bathroom before bed, and there was red blood.
It was already happening.
It wasn’t alot, but it was red.
The very same day I had a positive pregnancy test, I was already bleeding. I knew it wasn’t a good sign. I also knew there wasn’t anything I could do. It was really weird, but overall, I was calm. Even though ALL of this was unexpected, I was okay.
Today, I called the doctor’s office as soon as it opened and I explained my laundry list of pregnancy related issues.
3 previous miscarriages
Septate uterus
RH factor
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
They want me to come in so I can get a blood draw and they can test my HCG levels. Depending on what they are, I might have to go back in on Friday to get the Rhogham shot since I have the RH factor.
I know I have said it several times, but this year has truly been an uphill battle. So many emotions. So many hurdles. So much change.
I just cannot believe we are in this situation again. I guess only time will tell at this point.
