Miscarriage Still Affecting Me One Month Later

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last update on all of this blood work and hcg level bullshit. I ended up having to go to get blood work done two other times.

It went from a 33 to a 25 to a 3.

And they still wanted me to come back for more.

Nope.

I was done.

4 weeks of getting poked was enough. I was ready to be done with this. At the point that I was a 3, like, get real, I’m not pregnant anymore.

Everything is a constant reminder that I’m not pregnant anymore.

It’s hit me really hard this time. I try to suppress it because reliving it every day is not helpful either. I know that no one wants to hear about it, so I don’t really talk about it. I feel like a broken record talking to Scott about it. He tells me he doesn’t care, but I know he is tired of it.

I can’t remember what doctor appointment is was, but I was waiting to go back and a couple came out after a successful ultrasound and they were beaming. It brought tears to my eyes how happy they were. I was so happy for them, but I was so sad for me.

I got a reminder in my email that I was 12 weeks pregnant….thank you for that…

This miscarriage has just rocked my world.

I just want it to end. I want to feel okay.

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On Monday I go to the doctor to found out more information about my bicornuate uterus. I’m not really looking forward to that unless they tell me they were wrong and my uterus is fine.

I’m just over the bad news.

I know, I’m have a pity party for myself, but, I’m just done with the doctor this year and I’m done with the bad news.