Other things are happening besides Briar…

Raelynn has had some very minor medical issues.

She’s had an ongoing UTI for about a month. We have been treating it, but it’s not been going away. It initially started because she was sick and running a fever. I took her to the doctor and they tested her for a bunch of different things and the only thing that came back weird, was her urine. It tested positive for blood. So they sent it off for a culture and it came back positive for a UTI. They gave her a regular antibiotic and it did not do the trick. So we went back and she tested positive again. They gave her another antibiotic and it still didn’t kick it. We finally we back a third time and she still tested positive so they gave her another antibiotic.

This antibiotic has kicked her ass. It’s called nitrofurantoin.

We have to give it to her 4 times a day. And it’s a pretty big dose. Almost a teaspoon. It has literally sucked the life out of her. About 20 minutes after she takes it, she is down for the count. It gives her severe stomach cramps, she has no appetite, she has gotten sick once after taking it, another time she has a severe wave of nausea. It’s just so sad.

Over the weekend I ended up calling the nurse hotline because I got pretty concerned about her. She was just so uncomfortable. She said that’s why this medicine was a last resort because the side effects are terrible.

She pretty much told me that Raelynn would be sick for the 10 days she had to take it.

G R E A T… Today, we are on day 5 of the medicine and she has pretty much been sick the whole time. Day 2 and 3 were the worst. She progressively got better on day 4. Hoping these next couple of days go by quick so we can be done taking this medicine.

Other than that, Raelynn has been fine. As I said previously, we celebrated her 3rd birthday. She got so much stuff and we had a good time celebrating with friends and family.

In other news…Me…My Life…has been a freaking cluster. Nothing too bad really, just SO MUCH STUFF…SO MANY THINGS TO DO…

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Work remains the most stressful part of my life. This summer with work has been stress overload. It started with memorial weekend. That Monday, the GM of our company came for the week and ever since that week, every week after that, someone of high importance has visited our plant.

At the end of June, our company faced a severe cyber attack.

Our entire business of 170,000 employees crashed. No one was able to access the network. Overall, my site was down for 2 1/2 weeks. No access to literally anything. We could not even turn our computers on. So on top of important visitors already taking up our time, now this… Saint-Gobain Cyber Attack

The first day of the cyber attack, my new finance boss traveled to our site from France to introduce himself and talk about what he expected of me. The change has been a good thing, over all, just more work. He is allowing me to become more of the financial controller that I’ve always wanted to be. But with that, comes more responsibility. More time away from my kids, my husband, my social life. So, was this really what I wanted?

Besides all of this, we had our follow up internal audit.

Our initial audit was in December 2015, 3 months after I joined the company. Nothing had been accomplished in terms of internal control in the years prior to me so I was stuck with a huge cleanup project. The auditors were impressed with the progress that was made, but there is still a lot of work to do. Overall very happy, just glad that process is over with.

My last therapy appointment was interesting.

I thought it was August 8th, but it was really August 9th. I was so so so overwhelmed and stressed from work, trying to manage home life, social life, family life, that I was just ready for a bitch session. I needed it badly. So, I roll in there on August 8th and she just kind of looks at me. And she said, “Well, you know your appointment isn’t until tomorrow?” I honestly thought she was joking. She then says, ” You and I must’ve been on the same wave length this morning because I actually printed out August 9th’s schedule and then caught myself. So when you showed up, it really threw me.”

I just started crying. I needed to talk to her today. Not tomorrow. Today. I literally started sobbing to the point of not being able to talk. When I finally got my shit together, I just told her I was really overwhelmed and stressed out. But, everything was okay. My kids were healthy. Scott and I were okay. I guess, I was the only thing not really okay. Her original appointment came in, so I had to leave. I told her I would see her tomorrow.

Tomorrow was a long time away…

…So tomorrow came, and I went to my therapy appointment and basically talked her ear off for the entire hour. I felt good afterwards. I just needed to vent. I told her that I didn’t mean to cry yesterday and she said that’s a stress trigger. I was releasing stress by crying. Makes sense.

Then, after ALLLLL of this…Raelynn turned 3. My first little baby is now a 3 year old. How is this possible? And you know what comes with a birthday….a freaking party to plan.

Birthday parties are fucking expensive.

It costs a crazy amount of money to feed everyone. I only invite immediate family and close friends and we always have a turnout of around 60 people, which includes kids. I always ask family to bring a dish so that helps, tremendously. I do not go overboard on decorations. BUT I still always end up spending a fortune. And now, Briar’s birthday is 5 months away….just another party to plan and more money to spend.

I just feel like I can’t breathe. I have zero time for anything. And I can’t seem to find any balance at all.