Week 37

I’m having a very emotional time right now. It’s a combination of lack of sleep and potential back labor. Week 37 is not officially complete yet, but I felt compelled to write, so here I am.

I’m going through the reoccurring thoughts of Raelynn no longer being an only child. It’s hard. Every time I look at her this week I think to myself that any day now, she’s not going to be the baby anymore. She’s going to be the big sister. And I’m going to have a new baby. How am I ever going to love another child as much as I love Raelynn? How am I ever going to find the time to dedicate myself equally to two children. I’m not, and I know that. And that’s scary to me. I don’t ever want Raelynn to feel left out or that Briar is better than her because she is the new baby. I know I’m not the only mother in the world that has ever felt these thoughts about bringing a second child into the world, but it sucks. The thoughts and feelings that I’m having suck.

I’m also 10000% petrified of labor. Even though I have been through it before, I guess, because I know what to expect, I’m absolutely dreading it. I know in the end, I will get to meet Briar, but the whole labor process absolutely scares the shit out of me. So much can go wrong; but so much can go right. It can take literally forever, or it can take literally 5 minutes. As it gets closer, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night literally freaking out about it.

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I have still been waking up pretty consistently from 2:00 a.m. – 4:00 a.m. about every other night. It’s exhausting because then I’m essentially useless the next day. And the last thing I need to be right now is useless. I still have so much crap to do at home.

Early this morning, 1/19, I woke up at my normal time. Normal time = 2:00 a.m.; I got up to pee, I laid back down, only to find myself wide awake. As normal… All this week, I have had very inconsistent contractions in the middle of the night. They are ranging from my stomach, lower abdomen, and lower back. It is by no means terrible, but definitely there. It seems to be the only time that I am having them is in the middle of the night when I’m laying down. But today, they continued after I woke up. Particularly in my lower back. I didn’t have back labor with Raelynn so I have no idea what it feels like. My one friend that has been a good support system for me about trying to go all natural again had back labor so I texted her this morning asking about it. Basically what I described to her was a dull pain in my back that wasn’t going away. Again, not terrible, but not going away. She agreed that was what her back labor felt like. She said it lasted until transition for her. That was pretty scary for me. I can’t explain it, but it just was. I told Scott all of this, and his main concern was how am I going to know when to go to the hospital if my water didn’t break? I told him that I would just know. For him, it was much easier to comprehend whenever my water broke, we knew it was just time to go.

So, with the lack of sleep and then this back pain, I’m just out of sorts today. You know, being awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night is not ideal and my brain just runs over and over and over.

In other 37 week news…

This past Saturday, we had a diaper party and acquired SO MANY diapers. Seriously, I highly recommend having one of these.

Saturday we also stocked up on grocery’s. I am hoping that it was our last trip before Briar. We stocked up on everything from toiletries, paper products, dog food, people food, etc. I used this blog as a guide. I didn’t use everything on this list, but it was certainly a good guide. Pre Stock Up before Baby I used the same list with Raelynn too.

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Sunday, Scott got all closets together. Thank goodness! He had started on Briar’s last week and made huge progress, but it wasn’t finished until this week. The hall closet is now finished as well. I sewed another crib sheet as a back up. It was very useful for us to have two with Raelynn so I wanted to have two with Briar. Scott also got almost all of the baby stuff down from the garage, now it was just up to me to go through everything and get it together.

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So…all in all, we had a VERY productive weekend. I was very happy with the progress we made.

This past weekend, we also had Raelynn in only actual cotton panties with the exception of her nap and night time and she had no accidents. She has been doing so good with even pooping on the potty. We are ecstatic. I had proposed to her daycare that we switch her to panties only at daycare and then I retracted my statement because she is still on her antibiotic from last week and it’s causing major pooping issues. Not really issues, just pooping a lot. So we decided to wait until next week when the antibiotic is out of her system. So, hopefully we have a good follow up report next week!

In other pregnancy news, I am still not sleeping well, as stated above. And, something new, I am swelling. My legs, ankles, and feet are swelling. I didn’t do this with Raelynn. I happened to look down at work one day this week and thought, oh shit, my ankles are definitely swollen.

I had an OB appointment on Wednesday and everything was fine. I was 1 cm dilated and barely effaced. Lately, after I get checked, I have been feeling pretty crampy and just plain shitty. Same story yesterday. After my appointment I had a couple of errands that I needed to run and I just wasn’t feeling it.

It’s just been a weird week.

CrossFit this week…

Only once…

Tuesday, January 17

Strength – I was having a lot of pelvic pressure today, so I just did push jerks instead of split jerks – worked up to 100#, surprisingly.

Split Jerk
(pause 2 secs in receiving position of split)
5×2 @ 50%, 60%, 70%

MetCon – I did not do a partner workout – I turned this into a 15 EMOM. 10 push presses and 5 squats. I worked for about 20-30 seconds and I was able to rest 30-40 seconds. It was a good workout. I needed it.
Partners
15min AMRAP
Partner1: 10 push press #75/55
Partner2: Burpees
*push press cannot start until other partner is doing burpees

Until next week…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

 

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Week 36

4 WEEKS LEFT…

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My life these days…

Another week in the books. Seriously. I cannot believe it.

This weekend was the last weekend that we had absolutely nothing to do before Briar’s arrival. All day Saturday we ran errands, Wal-Mart, Lowe’s, Home Depot, Hobby Lobby. We did not stop all day long. The main thing we bought that was going to help Briar’s room get finished was a closet organizer. Currently in her room in the closet, there is all of our jackets and all of my shoes. We have a rather large hall closet that we are going to be transferring everything to, but we just needed to get the essentials to get it done.

Sunday, we were both pretty exhausted from running all day, so we did some stuff here and there, but nothing major. We had a friend come over with her little girl so her and Raelynn could play together.

Something random, but I noted that on Sunday night I started having night sweats. Seemed a little early? Normally, you don’t get them until after your pregnancy when your body is trying to get rid of all of extra water weight.

And then Monday came. And I got a text from Raelynn’s daycare that she had a 104 fever. 104!!!! I was a little freaked out, but again, I could not leave work because I was training my replacement. I called Scott immediately and told him that he had to go get her and I would schedule her a doctor appointment. Long story short, double ear infection. I couldn’t believe that we were just in there last week and I made she her ears were checked and now she has a double ear infection. Whenever Raelynn is sick and I’m not there, I just want to be home with her. I hate not being able to be there with her. I told Scott I would try and leave early and he told me that I did not have to that he had it under control. I knew he did. He’s perfectly capable of taking care of her, I just wanted to be there too. They prescribed her a stronger antibiotic this time so hopefully it would work quickly. My trainee ended up leaving a little early today because they were going to look at apartments and I ended up staying at work and getting a whole lot accomplished. I didn’t leave until around 5pm which for me is late. I was very relieved that I got a lot done. It made me feel better.

Tuesday, doctor appointment for me. I wasn’t expecting anything exciting especially given that I was there 5 days ago and I wasn’t dilated or effaced. Same story today. No dilation or effacement. I was strangely okay with this because we still had a lot to get done around the house, so I wanted her to cook for as long as possible.

Raelynn was better today. No fever. She stayed home for precautions of not getting any other kids sick and then she went back to daycare on Wednesday.

Wednesday and Thursday there were some stressful situations and issues at work. Just when I think my luck is turning around with getting stuff accomplished at work, more work gets piled on top. I’m slowly starting to get over work. Just ready to be done. The problem is, I know that I will still be fully connected to work, or try to be at least, while I’m on maternity leave. It’s just who I am. I am ready for a break, but in the back of my mind, I know how much is going to pile up whenever I’m gone, even though I do have a backup doing some of my work.

Friday, Scott made huge progress and actually got Briar’s closet together. All that was left to do was for me to fill it with clothes. I had been taking down the newborn and 3 month clothes of Raelynn’s from the garage and washing them, so now I was happy they finally had a place to go.

CrossFit this week…

I actually made it there 3 days in a row which is few and far between lately. I was very happy with my performance this week.

Wednesday January 11

Strength – I kept my snatch at 55#. Last week, it didn’t even feel comfortable to pick up a bar and today I could actually snatch 55#, so I was happy with that. Planks were pretty terrible. I did okay the first couple of minutes, but the last 2 were awful and I didn’t last.

10 min EMOM
1 Squat snatch @ 70% until failure or 10 reps
if failure is reached during EMOM then finish EMOM at 50%
then:
5 rounds
30 sec plank
30 sec rest

MetCon – I did the single arm rows, I did one round of the KB lunges and then I had to drop the weight because it just didn’t feel comfortable, but I did do the KB swings. Overall, I was pretty happy with my performance because I’ve been feeling like I can’t do anything lately.
12min AMRAP
12 single arm ring row (each arm)
12 single arm OH KB lunge (switch arm every 6 reps)
12 KB swings
#45/25

Thursday January 12

Strength – I built up to 75# on the OHS. Same with the strict press. They felt okay.

OHS
3×3 heavier than last week
then
Close Grip behind next strict press
5×5

MetCon – yea, I was not feeling this metcon today at all. So I rowed. 15 minutes total, 30 seconds on, 30 seconds rest. It equated out to about 1500M.

10,8,6,4,2,4,6,8,10
HSPU
burpee
T2B

Friday January 13

Strength – I did push jerks instead of split jerks. I’m not very stable in my split jerks because it’s not a comfortable movement, so I opted out. I only used 65#.

Squat clean & Split Jerk
Every 90 secs 1 rep @70% untill failure or 10 reps
if failure is reached dueing EMOM then finsh EMOM at 50%

MetCon – I was actually a little sore from the past two days, but the type of workouts below are my favorite. They seem long, but I like when rest is built in. Again, I was very happy with my performance. The only thing I modified were pullups. I did ring rows instead.
3RFR
1min cal row
1min wallball #20/14
1min pull ups
1min SDHP #45/25

1 min rest

Until next week…

 

–The Kentucky Momma

 

 

Week 35

5 WEEKS LEFT….

I know I keep saying it, but seriously, I blink and a week is gone.

Well, we started our New Year off with a bang. I have hemorrhoids so bad that it hurts to do anything and Raelynn is pretty sick.

On New Year’s eve, the Kentucky Wildcats played in a bowl game pretty early. We went to a local restaurant and they were actually serving a breakfast buffet. Raelynn and I stayed until about noon and then we came home so she could nap. She was acting okay at the restaurant, but just kinda out of it. Scott decided to go to a friends house that night, which I was totally okay with, but I was not in the mood to do anything. Mainly because my butt was hurting so bad. So, Raelynn and I stayed home. She still was kind of out of it all day, but wasn’t necessarily acting like anything was bothering her. I changed her into her jammies around 7:30 and she felt hot. I didn’t even have to take her temperature, I just knew. When bedtime came around, she was more than ready. My thoughts and wants were to clean, but I literally couldn’t. I knew in order for these hemorrhoids to go away, I need to sit down and prop my feet up. So I did. And I brought in the new year watching Magic Mike XXL. So, it was just me and Channing Tatum 🙂 I’ll take it.

The next day, Raelynn was feeling terrible. Her temperature never got below 101 and the highest it got was 103. She’s never had a fever of 103 before so it really made me nervous. It made me even more nervous because she was complaining of her neck and head hurting. Those aren’t things that a child of her age complains about. Luckily, all she wanted to do was hang out on the couch and watch cartoons all day, so that made me happy because I still had hemorrhoids the size of my head. And I know it made Scott happy because he was hung over. I just wished I could have been semi productive on my last long weekend before I went back to work.

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I was off work on Monday and Raelynn was still sick. I honestly wasn’t sure that she had ever run a fever this long before. I called the doctor as soon as it opened and got her an appointment scheduled.  She still had a low grade fever, but nothing like yesterday. The doctor checked EVERYTHING. The only thing he found wrong was her lymph nodes in her neck and throat were a little swollen which could indicate a virus or something and it could be the reason she was saying her neck and head was hurting. But, he wasn’t convinced anything was wrong. I even made sure he checked her ears again because I just knew she was going to have an ear infection or something. He said her ears were clean. You could tell she felt better overall anyways, especially because she wasn’t running a high fever. So, overall, I was happy.

Tuesday…was a very terrible day. Very terrible. Raelynn had a fever, yet again, which meant she couldn’t’ go to daycare, so we were hustling to try and find someone to watch her. Scott and I were both so busy at work, it just honestly wasn’t in the cards for either of us to be at home. My mother in law ended up being able to watch her. I can’t explain it, but just having to leave her when she is sick makes me so sad. I’m sure a lot of mothers feel the same way as I do. I just thought about Raelynn all day which made work terrible. I was so busy from year end tasks and I was having some issues understanding something; I eventually just had a breakdown. I was so overwhelmed, yet again. It just always happens at the damnedest times. I needed to be able to focus and get shit done and getting shit done was the last thing I was going to accomplish. I text Scott and told him I needed to talk. As soon as he called me I lost it. Literally blubbering ass crying about everything. Being sad about not being with Raelynn, being overwhelmed at work, STILL not having Briar’s room done, how was I going to train this new person with all of this shit I still had to get done….the list goes on. I’m telling you, when it hits me, it hits me good. I tried to gather myself for a somewhat productive day and I was able to salvage some of the day. I was so anxious to get home and see Raelynn and I’ll tell you what, she was little shit all night. I told her I was so excited to come home and see her and she told me to go back to work. All that worrying for an ungrateful 2 year old. LOL

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Wednesday was a better day. I was bound and determined to get shit off my to do list. BUTTT, Raelynn was still freaking sick. She immediately woke up saying her head hurt, but she didn’t have a fever. Again, Scott and I had to be at work, so I ended up asking if my mother in law could watch her again. I just didn’t want to work a half day and then have to leave because Raelynn was running a fever again. My mother in law text me and said she was much better today because she was playing more and eating more. So that made me happy. Today was also my birthday. It was the first birthday that I honestly could have given 2 shits about. I remember always taking off for my birthday and being so excited for it. Now it’s just a reminder that I’m getting older. And I couldn’t even drink. So it was fucking stupid.

Thursday was a big day. My counterpart from France arrived. I wasn’t all the way ready for her to be here because I still had a lot of stuff that I needed to get done, but I also needed as much time with her as possible so I could get her trained. Raelynn wasn’t sick today! She had no fever and hadn’t had one since Tuesday, so she went to daycare. She was happy to see everyone. I also had my first weekly OB appointment. I only worked a half day and then I went to the doctor. Everything was good at the appointment. I had my group B strep test. I warned the doctor not to judge me or my hemorrhoids. She just laughed and said she had seen worse, which I’m sure was 100% true. I was no dilated or effaced at all. And I was actually pretty happy about that. I am physically ready for Briar to be here, but not mentally and emotionally. We still have too much shit to do. My next appointment is only 5 days from now, next Tuesday. Oh, and can we talk about a fucking 10 pound weight gain in 2 weeks….yea, that wasn’t cool. So I’ve now gained 37 pounds with 5 weeks to go. FUCKING AWESOME….

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I just feel like I need to talk about this terrible hemorrhoids some more. I was still continuing the treatment I mentioned last week, but I was in desperate need for something else. I was using a Kroger brand of the topical treatment to reduce swelling and pain, but I had read somewhere that I needed to invest in the MAX STRENGTH Preparation H. And, let me tell you, it made a world of difference. It took about 2 days and I was a new person. I’m back to wanting a natural birth again! LOL They are still there, but I’m in much better shape these days. By Friday, they felt much, much better.

CrossFit this week…only twice

Tuesday, January 3 – I basically did none of this…nothing felt good. I did KB snatches instead of power snatches, and then I rowed for 15 minutes instead of doing the workout. I just wasn’t feeling it today.

Strength

Snatch
5@50%, 4@60%, 3@70%, 5×3@80%

MetCon
50-40-30
KB Fr.Rack walking lunges
KB weighted situps
DUs
#44/25

Wednesday, January 4

Strength

OHS – I was concerned that I wasn’t going to be able to do these because of my butt issues, but they felt okay. I worked up to 75# which I thought was pretty good.
3×4 heavier than last week
Snatch grip Push Press
5×5 @ (at least) 75% snatch

MetCon – this wasn’t terrible. I have realized that I can barely step up even onto a box anymore because my belly is in the way. That was interesting.
10 mins AMRAP
16 Single arm KB OH Step ups #35/18 – modified to plain step ups
16 burpees – still doing my step out into a pushup position and then jumping up for a burpee
16 Pull ups – ring rows

Until next week…

 

–The Kentucky Momma