Lots of emotions in the past couple of weeks. Mainly good, some sad, none really bad. So, I consider that a win.
I completed my very first CrossFit Open. I did VERY average. But I’m VERY okay with that. These workouts pushed me to my limit, pushed me to wanting to quit every single workout, pushed me to want to puke my guts up after every single workout (but, I didn’t, thank goodness). I always had someone behind me telling me to pick the bar up, or do just one more rep. The CrossFit community is just absolutely amazing. I also celebrated my one year CrossFit Anniversary :). It’s the longest that I’ve ever stuck with a workout regimen. I’m just so thankful and happy that I started doing CrossFit. It’s been such a positive impact in my life.
Some of the effects from the Open…
The house is amazing. Still a work in progress and I suspect it will be for a while. We have a beautiful fence up now and it’s just another relief that we do not have to take the dogs out on a leash anymore. It’s literally the little things that matter!! We still have boxes in the house and they are mainly Scott’s and I want to kill him for it. LOL And needless to say, I’ve not had a party yet to celebrate that lost box being emptied and broken down…Forever waiting on Scott…
Raelynn is doing amazing as always. In my last post, on March 5th, she had 7 teeth and now she has 9 teeth that I can actually see, 1 of which is a molar. She has been a tad fussy lately, but I believe her teeth are the perpetrator. Even though it’s only been a couple of weeks, she is saying more and more words. It’s absolutely amazing. Her favorites lately are “No, mama!” “No, dada!” “Go Away, Sable!” “Go Away, Scarlet!”. She is also saying things that show possession. “Mama’s blankie.” “Mama’s drink.” “Dada’s shoes.”
Today, her daycare provider text me that Raelynn used the freaking potty today!!!! For around 2 months she has been saying “pee pee” “poo poo” “potty”. So, I bought her a potty, but I had zero intention of full blown potty training her. I didn’t really have a plan at all actually. I just wanted to introduce to her to the fact that we are not going to be using a diaper forever. She would tell me she needed to go to the potty so we would go through undressing her, taking her diaper off, her sitting on the potty, and……nothing. nothing would happen. Again, totally okay with it. I didn’t want to push her to use the potty. BUT, today, she did it! Obviously, I would LOVE to get her out of diapers because that is going to save us some serious money!
I feel like at this age (19 months) it’s also time to transition to a toddler bed? I’m really scared of this. She sleeps so well in her crib. And I’m not necessarily a fan of the fact that she could get in and out of bed by herself yet. There is nothing in her room that can hurt her, I would just prefer that her crib be bigger so we can keep her in there a little longer. I’m scared she won’t sleep as good or that she will start waking up in the middle of the night, or that she will not take good naps. She does all of this so well now and I would hate to mess that up. UGHHHHH. I refuse to do potty training and moving to a toddler bed at the same time. I know that is way too much. I had fully intended on transferring her over to her toddler bed first and her getting used to that and then potty training her. But, I will let her lead the way 🙂
Oh, and, Easter! We had so much fun on Easter. Raelynn knew exactly what to do with eggs and of course she wanted everything in them! She got way too much from the “Easter Bunny”, aka grandparents. I had to pack up some old toys to incorporate the new ones.
Throughout all of my blog posts, I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Totally and completely my opinion, but it’s how I feel. I’ve been pretty stressed out and overwhelmed for several reasons. Mainly, due to tax season. Once again, I’ve taken on way incredibly too much. I’ve been stressing out about getting everything completed in time and I think about all of the other shit that I could be doing. I still have some of my clients too. I’m just an idiot. So, I just recently had therapy and I kind of accidently unloaded on her about all of this because it was just really weighing heavy on me. She basically coached me on how to get rid of all of these clients for bookkeeping and taxes. I was really concerned in general about one in particular. He was my very first client and I made a very unrealistic promise to him that I would keep him forever. Bless his heart, but he is an absolute mess. He is so unorganized. He hands me several folders at a time with receipts crammed in there and literally falling out. But, it’s my fault, because I made this okay. Anyways, he is just too much work for me. I swear, my therapist literally empowered me to let him go. As soon as I left therapy, I hadn’t even made it to my truck yet and I had my phone out dialing his number to tell him I couldn’t work for him anymore. He took it pretty well, but I know he is truly going to miss me helping him. As soon as we got off the phone I felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. Since then, I have decided to let all of my businesses go for bookkeeping and tax purposes. HUGE HUGE HUGE relief. HUGE stress reliever, especially for next year since I won’t have to worry about them.
I promise I am going to make my point about everything happening for a reason.
A couple of days ago, I finally call the OBGYN to schedule my annual and talk about the miscarriages and options that I had. Turns out, I was able to get in today because of a cancellation. I got to see my doctor that I had not seen since I was pregnant with Raelynn. I literally had 1 1/2 years worth of shit to tell her that had to be condensed down into approximately 15 minutes or less. Regarding the recent miscarriage and hopefully how not to have a miscarriage next time, I am going to be able to get on progesterone whenever I get a positive pregnancy test. I just have to call them and they will schedule me an appointment to come in and I will take the progesterone from 4 weeks – 14 weeks pregnant. I will also be able to go in for a viability scan at 7 weeks. All of this make me happy and gives me hope. It really does.
I wanted to make it a point to tell her about all the issues in the beginning with Raelynn, the colic, the not sleeping, me being a psychopath, you know, it’s all been covered here multiple times. I wanted to let her know the my PPD was terrible. Not just baby blues or a light case of PPD, but I was full out fucking crazy and filled with depression and anxiety. I told her that I did not want medication, that I was doing better with the help of therapy and CrossFit. But, she played devil’s advocate. Big time. She told me since I had it the first time, I was more than likely going to get it the second time probably sooner and worse. She told me that even though it was a long time down the road, because I’m not even pregnant, that she would suggest that I start taking medication to treat the depression before I even left the hospital. Right now, I’m NOT 100% against that. I honestly do not want to go down the same path that I did for such a long time. It’s dark and scary. I don’t even know how we got on the subject of it, but I was telling her about how terrible my labor and delivery nurse was and she ended up knowing her, but she told me that having a horrible experience in the hospital could trigger PPD. While, I don’t think that solely caused it because I had so much shit going on, I just found that really interesting.
I just feel like I needed to see the therapist when I did to help me get rid of my clients to help remove some stress and have a good healthy, future pregnancy. I really hope that’s the case.
I swear, I am really going to make it a point to blog more than once a month. Promise. My goal is like once a week because I know I probably miss some important things that could be talked about….
Until next time…
–The Kentucky Momma