When is Enough, Enough?

If you do not want to read a book, I suggest you just close this post out now.

The text I got from my mother in law this morning, “Austin’s mom died from an overdose yesterday.”

I FUCKING HATE DRUGS.

Austin is my nephew. Austin now has no mother thanks to heroin.

I’ve never really went into any detail about Scott’s family, but I will today so I don’t have to keep throwing around mother, brother, sister, nephew.

Scott’s Mom – Tina; Scott’s Dad – Barry, Scott’s Brother – Jason; Scott’s Sister – Jenny; Jenny’s Husband – Josh; Jason’s Son – Austin; Jenny’s Son – Hank; Jenny’s Daughter – Harper.

Since we were in high school, Jason has fought a very tumultuous battle with drugs. Started with weed, grew into pills, and eventually superseded to heroin. In 2007, we had an intervention with Jason. He had just started stealing and pawning to get money for his pill addiction. It was just like the TV show, if you’ve ever watched it. We got in a circle and read him letters and gave him a bottom line. They sent him to an upscale rehab facility in Delray Beach, FL. While in the facility, he relapsed twice. Once on alcohol and once on pills. He didn’t want to get clean so he wasn’t going to. Whenever he came back his relationship with drugs continued and grew exponentially stronger.

Pills became to expensive so on to heroin he went. From 2007 – 2014 he was a very avid pill and heroin addict. I don’t believe that heroin started in 2007, but I know it wasn’t long after. I could always tell when he was fucked up. He had AWFUL anger, even worse mood swings. He was a ticking time bomb. He was not enjoyable to be around. It got to the point that I told Scott if he was going to be at his parents house then I would stay at home. Whenever I was pregnant with Raelynn, I told him that if I ever caught him high around Raelynn, we would leave in a heart beat and not think twice about it.

From 2007 – 2014 he was in and house of detox facilities, rehab facilities, halfway houses, the list goes on. He NEVER held a steady job. Most of time didn’t even have a job so he would steal and pawn things for money. He was kicked out of his parents house more than I can count on both hands. I know he sold drugs at one point and time because he pretty much put it on Facebook.

His last run was his worst and most emotional for all involved. It was a four day binge. On Saturday August 16, very early in the morning, Scott’s parents caught Jason shooting up in the bathroom while his son was there. Spoon, lighter, needle all on the bathroom sink. He had more and they hid it from him. Barry woke up to Jason searching for it. He was so fucked up, then ended up taking him the ER. Jason was begging for that one last hit and he was going to go to rehab. They refused to give it to him. He refused to go to rehab. Barry and Tina were leaving to go out of town to visit Barry’s brother in Virginia Beach. They thought about not going because of everything, but we all encouraged them to go to get their mind off of things. They changed the alarm code on their house and made sure Jason was locked out so he couldn’t access anything in there. They had no idea where Jason would go, but it wasn’t going to be in their house. They left for Virginia Beach on Saturday August 16, around 7pm. At 9:30pm we got a call that their house had been broken into. It was Jason. The cops were called but they weren’t going ot arrest him because his drivers license said he lived there. The cops ended up calling Tina and Barry and they asked the cop to take him somewhere safe. They drove him to the local Walmart because driving any further would have been out of the city limits.

Sunday August 17, Tina and Barry called us multiples times to get Jason and take him to rehab because Jason had called them and said he wanted to go. I was beyond pissed. I didn’t like that they were putting that on us. Oh, and mind you, I was almost 38 weeks pregnant. Scott ended up locating him and taking him to a couple of different facilities, even a homeless shelter and if I remember correctly, no one would take him.

We later found out that he made his way back to Bullitt County and he proceeded to overdose in McDonalds and the cop told him to either go to jail or go to the hospital. They took him to the hospital. They gave him the Naloxone drug that pulled him out of the overdose on the way to the ER and as soon as the ambulance came to a stop at the hospital he was out and on his way back to Bullitt County again. He somehow made it back.

On Tuesday August 19, Jason was finally able to get into a detox program, and has been drug and alcohol free ever since that day. I can honestly say I never, ever thought I would see a day that Jason would be drug and alcohol free. Scott and I were convinced he was going to kill himself from his drug addiction. We were just pretty much waiting on that call. But, now he has been clean over a year and Jason is pure joy to be around. When Jason is not on drugs, he is one of the most caring, kind-hearted, and hilarious people to be around. I am so thankful for the clean Jason.

On to his mother. I personally don’t know a lot about his mom. Austin was conceived on accident. Austin’s mom was with Jason’s best friend at the time…put two and two together…yea….

For about 3, maybe 4 years, they thought the kid was Jason’s friend. Then Austin’s mom and Austin started to come around. It was CLEAR it was Jason’s kid. Austin was a spitting image of Jason. I think Austin was 4 when they had the paternity test done and found out that Jason was the father. We thought this would be the turning point for Jason and it obviously wasn’t.

Austin’s mother and Jason somewhat continued to hang out. I’m fairly certain they did drugs together on a regular basis. After Jason got his shit together and became a REAL father, Austin’s mom continued the drug abuse. I believe it worsened. Eventually Jason was doing so well, he got full custody of Austin. Again, something we thought we would never see. It was truly amazing to see Jason act like and be an adult.

Just yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws, we were talking about Austin’s mom. Jason has been having a really hard time battling with child support. Long story. But he has been in and out of court multiple times regarding this. We started talking about that, but then he changed the subject to Austin’s mom. He said he offered to go shopping with her and Austin. He said he believed she was getting high still, but he wasn’t sure and he didn’t want to accuse her unless he knew for sure. Plus, he said he wanted Austin to see her. And she said she wanted to see Austin. He said that would give them time together and it would give me an opportunity to assess the situation with her. He continued to say he understood what she was going through and wanted to help her if he could. I looked right at him and told him how sweet and understanding he was. At that very moment, I realized how much he truly has grown. Old Jason wouldn’t have given Austin’s mom a chance in hell if he had any suspicion at all that she was getting high, nor would he have agreed to let her seem him. It literally made my heart full to know what a strong man he was becoming. Again, something we thought we would never see.

And then, the text message. Scott had to work this morning, but I was off. I am a light sleeper and an early bird, so I always wake up whenever his alarm goes off. He grabbed his phone and said, “Oh Fuck. Austin’s mom died.” I sat up and immediately went back to the conversation that Jason and I had yesterday. It made me so sad for him. He wanted the opportunity to help her, and he is never going to get that opportunity.

Jason is now the sole parent of Austin. THANK GOD HE IS CLEAN. THANK GOD HE HAS HIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT. THANK GOD HE IS WILLING AND ABLE TO BE A PARENT TO AUSTIN.

I pray to god that Jason keeps his shit together during all this. He has made it this far and I hope he keeps trucking forward in the right direction. This is a huge, life altering event. I just hope God gives him the strength to pull through this. I will be praying for him every single night.

 

–The Kentucky Momma

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