From one end of the spectrum to the other…

Recently, I find myself missing my old life. I miss having all the time in the world to do whatever I want and not have to care for someone else. I missing being able to leave my house with just my purse. I miss being able to leave the house in general without worrying about what I am going to do with my daughter. I missing not being on edge 24/7. Now, I plan my life around her. Now, I leave my house with my purse, the diaper bag, and my pump bag. Sometimes more bags. Now, I cannot simply get up and drive to the grocery with her because I never know if she is going to cooperate or scream like a wild animal that just got her foot cut off. I constantly worry about her. I constantly worry about EVERYTHING. LITERALLY E V E R Y T H I N G G G G G G G G G ……

More than anything, I miss my social life. I miss being able to go over a friends house without thinking twice. Now, it’s just a hassle to even leave the house with her so I would much rather stay at home.

Hell, I miss being able to drink whenever I wanted. I used to come home and have a beer or 8. Now I have to wait until she’s asleep for the night and pray she doesn’t wake up so I can have one beer. ONE BEER! My old self would’ve kicked my new self in the face for only consuming one beer.

How do you super mom’s do it? How do you even get yourself together in the morning. I never put on makeup, I never fix my hair, I never give a shit about what I look like. Partially to blame for my shitty mood all the time, perhaps…maybe I should try to fix that.

But with all this negative I have in me today, I would not replace my little girl for anything in the entire world. When she smiles and laughs, my heart melts with happiness. How did I get so lucky to have such a perfect, healthy little girl that is now starting to enjoy her life and become so aware that I am her mommy. Whenever I walk into the room she lights up. When I leave the room, she cries until I return. Just thinking of her makes my heart complete. Thinking of my little family makes me overwhelmed with happiness.

WIth everything I miss, she makes up for it a million times over.

–The Kentucky Momma


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