6 Months…

What in the actual fuck happens when a child is 6 months old? I feel like I’m back to the newborn stage and it’s only been one night. It’s awful.

She just was not herself this weekend at all. She woke up really early on Saturday and her whole entire schedule was thrown off. When her schedule is off, my anxiety literally mounts until I feel like I’m about to explode. She was okay on Sunday, until about 10 at night. She woke up screaming bloody murder. It almost seemed like a colic scream that I wish I would never hear again. My husband went in there to try and soothe her. He finally got her calmed down and put her back in her crib and then, awake again, screaming. Oh god it was awful. It made me sad more than anything because I honestly felt like she was in pain. I went in there and picked her up and she burped so big and so loud. I assume that was the major culprit, but she still continued to scream. Once I finally got her settled down and almost back asleep, I attempted to lay her down in the crib and before i could even unhook her from my body, she was screaming again. At that point, I just determined that we were going to sleep together for the night.

I staked out in the recliner and nursed and nursed and nursed some more. She finally drifted off to sleep, so than I did too. About 2 hours later, it was the same thing. So we moved to the couch, nursed some more, tried to cuddle, but that was just a lost cause. She was definitely not in pain anymore, but more or less, out of sorts because this is not routine. She proceeded to babble for a while while laying next me and I let her. I figured she would let me know when she got tired. And that, she did. She kept trying to lay on her back and there wasn’t enough room, so I figured I would try to put her back in her crib where she had more room. She really is a wiggle worm when she sleeps anyways. So it began. I rocked, swayed, paced, you get the idea…until she was almost asleep, placed her in her crib, and left the room. She really was finally asleep. It was now 4 in the morning. I figured I could finally go back to my bed and try to get some sleep before I had to wake up in roughly 2 hours.

Not only did last night bring back my not-so-fond colic memories of her, but the 6 month mark is also bringing up something that I prayed I would never have to deal with…low supply…

I know there is a huge growth spurt at 6 months so I’m hoping this is just a piece of it and it doesn’t last long, but nursing her at night just isn’t doing it for her anymore. My breast alone is not satisfying her which really upsets me. At her last feeding for the night, she protests for about 15 minutes before I finally give in and make a bottle. She will eat off both sides a little bit, but not much. After the bottle (which obviously gave her the awful stomach ache last night), and after I put her down for the night, I now have to add in an extra pump that will hopefully boost my supply. I haven’t mentioned yet, how much I really hate the god forsaking pump, but I really fucking hate that pump. So, to have to add in an extra pump really sucks. BUT if it’s for the greater good so my daughter can have breast milk until she’s one, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Sorry this post is a little everywhere…perhaps even a little incomplete, but I just needed to write to get some things off my chest this morning.

Hope y’all have a good day.

–The Kentucky Momma


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